Night terrors and protection magic: Addressing fear without dismissing it

It isn't suave to make this kind of confession, but in this case its necessary. I was afraid of the dark as a child. Very much afraid.

I wasn't afraid of monsters under the bed or of ogres in the closet. At least not unless I had recently watched a scary movie. Adults would often ask me what I feared and it was impossible to say exactly. 

I feared the tingling pressure of darkness against the back of my neck. I feared the way my muscles tightened and sometimes I couldn't move, even though I was fully aware of my surroundings. I feared the sense of consciousness and non-physical forms that I couldn't possibly understand. But as a child I didn't have words for these things and so I simply clung and  refused to be alone.

I found that darkness was actually only part of the problem. The other part was being alone. I found that the pressure against my senses didn't come if I was with another person... even a child much smaller than me. It wasn't that I thought a smaller child could protect me from something malicious. I didn't fear harm. I just did not like the strange pressure and awareness I felt but couldn't understand. And that feeling lasted until I was well beyond childhood.

 Today I understand better what I perceived as a child. I had some sort of gift for sensing non-physical reality. Despite the fact that I had very poor eyesight and couldn't see the facial expressions of others, I often sensed the emotions of others correctly, even when they wished to hide their feelings. And several specific experiences convinced me that I could at times perceive non-physical beings. Because I couldn't understand what I perceived, it was frightening and some of it may have actually been negative and beyond the abilities of a child to handle. 

It is because I've experienced this that I have a lot of sympathy for children who have fears they can't describe. Some of these fears may come from sensing non-physical reality. Others may come from deep memories or previous traumatic experiences that are not consciously remembered. Either way, there are ways to deal with these fears that address the root cause and allow children to keep their emotional and spiritual sensitivity without being afraid or encountering psychic negativity.

In popular western culture today, the primary response of adults to a child's fear of the dark or the unknown is either suppression, denial or mockery. "Look. There's nothing under the bed. Just calm down and go to sleep!" or "If you just be brave and ignore it, it will go away." 

From my experience, these usual responses are utterly useless. Most children just suffer through it until they are old enough to block out the non-physical world. And that can seriously limit their sensitivity and ability to know themselves and reach their potential.

A few more creative adults make a game of battling those things that trouble the child, dressing up in capes with swords and charging around the bedroom to exorcise the monsters. This latter approach does often work, and that's more than just because it's fun and distracting for children. It is also because such games often contain the basic elements of energetic ritual.

That is where the real solution lies. If an adult is skilled in their own spiritual path and can keep a steady center while giving a child the tools of self-protection and energy conservation, lengthy struggles with these fears can be avoided. And the child can grow to develop psychic gifts to their fullest without having to put blocks on their sensitivities. I have seen people of various religious persuasions do this in various forms--from Christians to a Cuban voodoo practitioner. So, I can't say there is one "correct" way to go about it. 

But the basic elements are common. An adult should help a child to create a safe psychic space, often a circle. There may be candles or other items that help in concentration and a feeling of peace. Teach your tradition's form of centering, whether that is through visualization, meditation or prayer. Then cleanse the negativity in the area in a way that makes sense to you, such as smudging with herbs, drumming or prayer. Set a boundary around the room or home, using substances (such as salt and herbs) or protective symbols. And give the child a symbol or talisman of psychic protection. Talk about energy and spirit with the child in terms the child can understand and explain what you have done. Don't forget to close the sacred space and give thanks.

Even this very general description may go beyond the spiritual experience of some adults. I don't expect those who believe solely in a materialist world devoid of gods, ancestors and spirits to agree with my perspective on this. I'm not a guru and my own spiritual path is very personal and eclectic, reflecting my varied past and international family.

However, I can offer a more concrete depiction of this process for those who embrace a Pagan, Wiccan or earth-centered path in the children's book Shanna and the Raven, which is an adventure story linked to the February 2 festival of Imbolc. The book follows a ten-year-old girl through experiences of both perceived and real danger and shows how her mother helps her to use both physical measures and ritual to empower her, connect with intuition and obtain safety. There are serious themes in this book but children love it for the story and don't realize it means to "teach" something and that alone makes the concepts much easier to absorb.

I often hear parents say that they don't allow their children to participate in their spiritual path until they are teenagers. And this perplexes me. Certainly, there are practices that are beyond the capabilities of children and children shouldn't be forced into a straight-jacket of specific beliefs. However,  there are many simple practices, rituals and traditions that can give children protection that truly soothes fears rather than simply suppressing them. And the successful use of such means will inevitably give children a greater overall sense of security and confidence. 

I wrote Shanna and the Raven as the first book in the Children's Wheel of the Year series precisely because I see these needs in my own children. And I hope they may help others as much as they have brought comfort to my family. 

What are your experiences with unexplained fears, the need for protection and using spiritual means to banish anxiety? Drop a line in the comments section below and join the discussion.

A Yule call

In this world of strife, stress and quick anger, may the healing and peace of the long nights give you joy and rest. May you gather those dear to your heart near and sing beauty and love against all hardship. The spirit of the Solstice has been steadfast since the dawn of time. So, now we dance and spin into a new year.

When Imbolc comes, check out this captivating new children's book for earth-centered and Pagan families, Shanna and the Raven. The ebook is available for pre-order now. Shanna and the Raven will be published in paperback and for Kindle on January 8, 2016. 

Why do our kids need contemporary Pagan stories?

"Just don't say 'Solstice' where anyone can hear you, Mom," a fifth-grader says. "Everyone says 'Christmas' - even the people who have other holidays."

This is the kind of thing you will hear, if you're an earth-centered parent living someplace multicultural enough that you would actually consider using Pagan terms in public. This is a fact. We live in a society where the majority culture is very strong in the media and public space, despite the fact that only about half of the population shares that culture. 

You want a Pagan children's story? Here are some of the beautiful illustrations by Julie Freel from the soon-to-be-published story Shanna and the Raven. Ten-year-old Shanna and seven-year-old Rye learn to use the magic and energy of Imbolc for protection in a dicey situation.

I grew up Pagan in a conservative, rural corner of the United States. Wait... I have to amend that because my mother is likely to lodge a complaint. I grew up with many Pagan ideas, stories, practices and beliefs, but I was nearly thirty before I had a word for it or knew the names of the solar holidays.

If and when we did a ritual or used something like Tarot when I was a kid, my mother either didn't overtly talk about it at all or called it "woo woo." By the time I went to school, I didn't have to be told that I should keep quiet about the whole subject of spirituality.

When I was sixteen, I had to fill out a form including my religion and I asked my mother what I should say.

She said, "You better say Protestant just in case." I knew we weren't Protestant, but I put it on the form anyway. The only options were Catholic, Protestant, Muslim and Buddhist.  There wasn't even an "other" category in those days. I was tempted to mark the Buddhist category just to buck the system, but it was an important form, so I decided to take my mother's advice and keep my head down as I did at many other times.

Pagan kids choosing their path in a media world

As a result, I understand why many Pagan kids are worried about being publicly identified as non-Christian, let alone Pagan. Sure, it can be considered brazen and cool among teenagers, but at earlier ages, both teachers and other kids often react negatively to open use of Pagan terms or symbols. Kids listen to the news and to the way people talk. And they take their cues from the media.

Today's kids can relate to to Shanna and Rye because they are just like them, going to school, having fun with friends and thinking about how they fit in.

While the film Frozen may drop many Pagan hints, it stops short of using any Pagan terms. Meanwhile, the majority of stories and films encounter Christmas or other Christian terms and integrate them with ease. These terms pervade the common media culture and make clear what is "normal" for kids.

Some kids will be strong inside and not care much. I didn't. I kept my own beliefs and sat through plenty of public and semi-public Christian prayers throughout my childhood. But I always felt the coldness of the outside world and the isolation of my family. I struggled to find words when I traveled in my teens and people asked me "what" I was. When I came close to being able to describe it, I was met with a wall denial: "That's not a real religion." "That's fake." "You just made that up." 

And I didn't listen. I knew that I hadn't made up the myths of Norse and Greek mythology or the casting of a circle and the calling of quarters. (I knew neither term for those actions but I knew how to do them.) However, I teetered on the edge of despair over it. I envied my Native American friends, who were the only people I knew with similar practices and yet I sensed the wrongness in cultural appropriation at a young age and I refused to go that route. 

Many more kids will not want to stand so alone. Only a few of the similarly "quiet Pagan" kids I knew growing up retain any of this spiritual path today. And it's fine for everyone to choose their own path. As long as they are happy where they are.

The problem I see is that Pagan children are routinely denied a reasonable chance to truly choose. They are told bits and pieces of their parent's spiritual practice, but mostly they are thrown into the world of Christian and secular media. There are a few books about Pagan beliefs aimed at children, but almost all of them are focused on teaching specific facts and practices. They bear little resemblance to the fun and adventurous stories where kids usually find Christmas, Easter and the Fourth of July.

A child's need for engaging identity

The divide is stark - Pagan literature which is often dry and school-like versus pop culture which is fast-paced, fun and focused on Christian and secular terms.  The inevitable conclusion that children draw is that Pagan things are stilted and boring, while the majority culture is adventurous and laid back.

How did this happen? Paganism is supposed to be the religion of freedom, play, dreams and the natural world, is it not?

A holiday story should include the magic and comfort of family traditions but should also include a story to grip and entertain the reader. These stories are for earth-centered kids themselves, rather than meant to educate their classmates about Pagan beliefs.

And beyond the issue of what path our children will choose as they mature, I would like to make a plea for childhood free from fear, secrecy and self-doubt. Yes, I was strong enough to weather the great silence and that feeling of isolation alone, but I hope my own children won't have to undergo it. I want them to know what our beliefs are called, to use these terms without fear and to respect other beliefs without feeling dominated.

These are key parts of a healthy identity. And without a solid identity we can't freely choose our own path.  

That's why I am turning my story-telling craft to earth-centered and Pagan children's stories for a time.  I am indebted to the writers of Circle Round, Pooka Pages and similar materials for families and children, which have done a great deal to provide Pagan education for kids. This leaves me free to embark on a new path with my stories.

These are stories rooted in today's most common Pagan paths, but they are primarily about adventures and difficulties that children actually overcome. These stories are to Pagan beliefs as the American Girl series is to history. There might be a bit about the facts in the back of the book, but the focus will be on stories that children will actively ask for - stories that will grip the reader with suspense and joy. 

A series of contemporary adventure stories for Pagan kids

I have begun the Children's Wheel of the Year stories with a book that will be published in January 2016. It's an Imbolc story because it occurs at that time of year and includes a family's Imbolc celebration. It also includes the themes of Imbolc - protection from danger, the good use of intuition and the cleansing of negative energies. But these themes are not taught with a heavy hand. They are part of the story of how ten-year-old Shanna acts bravely and intuitively to protect her younger brother from a criminal. 

Yes, these stories will encounter some real conflict and suspense. They aren't meant for preschool-age children, but for those who read adventure stories involving an element of danger. The stories that my own children love don't pretend that children are immune to or unaware of the darkness in the world. They are the stories that show children as strong and capable of facing difficulties, protecting themselves and standing up for important principles.

That strength comes from facing real problems and battling fear itself. These stories will have happy endings and be empowering for children, but they will involve true conflict and adventure that kids can relate to.

Modern Pagan kids just like me

"Class, who can tell us what is special about February 2?" the teacher asks. Shanna is excited that someone else knows about Imbolc. But then the other kids laugh and the teacher really meant Ground Hog's Day. Fortunately, the teacher is open-minded and she asks Shanna to tell the class about her lovely traditions.

The Children's Wheel of the Year books are meant for kids ages six to ten and may interest kids outside this age range as well. The stories are realistic and contemporary, following a brother and sister named Shanna and Rye whose family follow an unspecified earth-centered path. Like other children today, they go to school, have friends, enjoy fun times and encounter real problems and fears. Like the Magic Tree House books or The Little House on the Prairie, these stories are relatable and fun. They can help in teaching kids about a Pagan path, but their focus is on building a strong and fearless Pagan identity in general, rather than on teaching details of a particular path. 

The first book in the series is titled Shanna and the Raven: An Imbolc Story. The series will continue around the wheel of the year. There is no particular significance to beginning at Imbolc. It simply fits the children in the story best.

I strive for accuracy in all references to Pagan practices, but I keep much of the specifics out of these stories in order to allow a wide variety of families with different paths to use them. It will be possible to enter the story with any of the books, though there will be a gentle overall story running from Imbolc through Yule as well. 

Get this book here

If you want to learn more about the Children's Wheel of the Year stories, you're invited to sign up for my Hearth-side Email Circle. Subscribers are entitled to a free ebook, and you can either grab one of my adult fantasy books or Shanna and the Raven as a thank you from me.. 

I love your comments on these Pagan Notes posts and I would be particularly interested in the ideas and concerns of fellow Pagan parents. What issues are your kids concerned about? What kinds of books, movies and other media do you wish we had for Pagan kids? Thanks for your comments.

The Dead are Never Gone - Samhain meditations

I spent most of November of 1992 sitting in a basement in Hessen, Germany listening to a young Czech migrant worker play folk songs on a guitar and tell stories of the dead. 

I was sixteen at the time and wide-eyed at the horizons that had just burst open before me. Up until a few months before, I had been a girl living in a remote part of the Blue Mountains of Eastern Oregon. I couldn't spell Czechoslovakia and I had never heard the world Pagan, even though my family was Pagan. Now I heard about the deep Celtic roots of Bohemia and of the centuries of conquest and struggle that successive totalitarian regimes had brought. I soaked up tales of grandfather healers, tough-as-nails grandmothers and one who took his own life. 

In that month of November, I grew more than I have in most years of my life. I learned that the dead are never gone, that we breathe because of the struggles of our ancestors, that the stones of a place tell their own story, that my roots stretch back to many traditions and that the whispers of spirit can come through music even in another language.  

I had never heard of Birago Diop at the time. He was a great Senegalese poet, story-teller and veterinarian, a man of the African renaissance, whose words would inform my spirituality later and haunt the world. But though I had yet to hear of him, Birago Diop died that month at the age of 83, becoming an honored ancestor of his people.  

Today when I look back at those who have passed into the realm of ancestors and prepare for the time of long, dark nights and contemplation, Diop's poem "Breaths" is my primary meditation. They are words true to the beliefs of Pagans all over the world in one form or another, no matter our continent. Surely, they link us back to the common past of humanity, to the ancestors that link us all.

What honor do we give our ancestors if we make war or draw lines between cultures, traditions and races? What honor do we give our ancestors if we fritter away the gift of our lives with consumerism and lifestyles that make the earth unlivable for the next generation?  

I make the offering of candles inside vegetables beside my door and freshly brewed tea. Bless the ancestors of this land and hearth. May you be nourished and healed of your wounds that we may be free in our day. 

One thing I love about Diop's poem is that it can be adapted. The cadence of it is easily shaped to whatever signals the presence of ancestors for you. As long as you don't try to publish it as your own original work, you can use the poem "Breaths" to make a personal meditation.

Here's mine with all honor to Diop:

The dead are never gone.

They are there in the evening shadow.

The dead are not under the earth.

They are there in the falling rain.

They are there in the line of a child's smile.

They are there in the black soil of the garden.

They are in the fire on the hearth.

They are in cold night wind.

The dead are never, never gone.

Pagan Book Review: A sound and a readable explanation of Irish Reconstructionist Paganism at last

Every religion has it's sub-categories, nooks and crannies. And given that these are matters of spirit, faith and passion, there are often vehement disagreements and a bit of prejudice between various factions. Modern Pagans are really no different from anyone else in this. I have heard my share of grumblings between "reconstructionists" and other types of Neopagans. 

It's easy to be confused and I withhold judgment until I can find good sources. 

I have been curious about recontructionists and Irish paganism specifically for some time, but most of what you can read on the subject is exceedingly dry and arcane or else overly influenced by contemporary pop culture. So,  I remained largely mystified until now. 

Morgan Daimler's book Pagan Portals - Irish Paganism: Reconstructing Irish Polytheism has provided exactly the clear, friendly and readable introduction I needed. I am sure that some who have studied Irish and/or Celtic reconstructionism in depth may find this too simplistic but for those of us who simply want to understand it and have a readable and even entertaining introduction to the concepts without a lot of intellectual jabber this is perfect. As in her other books, Daimler presents complexity in an honest yet understandable way and then relates it to personal stories. The result is both fun and informative, backed by a wealth of research.

Here are the key points about this book.

• There is no fluff in here at all. It's all brisk, concise information.
• It's eminently readable with a pleasant voice for a scholarly book.
• It's extensively researched and has good reviews by credible scholars.
• It is clear and never wishy-washy. Daimler doesn't try to manipulate, but rather simply states when she has come to her own conclusions and when it's a matter of established record.
• Daimler isn't afraid to use practical, personal experience to both liven up and engage the text.
• The book tackles some controversial issues around race, cultural appropriation and sexuality. While I do wish she had included something on environmentalism, that is simply because I would love to know her take on the issue and that of other reconstructionists.
• There is also a chapter about the false myths many people believe about reconstructionism, a chapter on the Irish Pagan beliefs, including a list of the most important gods and goddesses, a very practical chapter on modern practices and how it is actually done today, a chapter on the holy days and more.

Many books on reconstructionism that I have encountered focus so narrowly on specifics and are so bent on proving the author as "the" scholarly authority on the subject that the average person with sincere interest could easy be lost. The mark of a truly broad and informed scholar is not so much one who can delve into the greatest detail on obscure subjects but one who knows the field well enough to present a coherent picture of the whole in terms that are understandable to outsiders. This is what this book does. I appreciate the clarity and warmth Daimler brings to this subject.

Book Review: The Other Side of Virtue and a vessel with which to drink the good life

"Pagan is a negative term," I was told. "It means wanton, imature snotty, rebellious and without morals." 

And this was not said by someone ideologically opposed to earth spirituality. Quite the opposite. It was said by one who taught me much of my spirituality and who finds spirit in nature and in authenticity and compassion. But the term "Pagan" has become negative for this person, through media messages, the words of critics and the words and deeds of some visible Pagans as well. 

And I while I vehemently disagree with that negative definition of the word "Pagan," I can't entirely refute the connotations of the social movement that has grown around the word in pop culture. Google it and you'll get endless pictures of objectified women in slinky black clothing with ugly makeup and suggestive poses. I have found spiritual sisters and brothers among Pagans, but I also often find a lot of nihilism and immature rebel-without-a-cause mentality. I find a subculture where many proudly claim that morals are for brainwashed idiots and that they have no spiritual obligation to do anything but satisfy their own desires as long as there isn't obvious harm done to someone else. And if there is harm done, well then "that so-and-so shouldn't have gotten in the way."

The most popular thread in one of the largest Facebook groups for Pagans for the past year has been one about how sick of "nice Pagans all full of light" the members are. These posts are full of adolescent self-righteousness, denial of spiritual meaning and flaunt-your-sex-because-it-annoys-Christians messages. By contrast, when I posted about my personal struggles around responding to climate change as a Pagan, I was met with several angry responses that demanded, "How dare you suggest that Pagans should be specifically concerned about climate change?" and "I'm so sick of Pagan popes."  

The person who told me that "Pagan" is a negative term has glimpsed this side of the Pagan community and been repelled with disgust, even though her spirituality is not far from true Pagan roots at all. And I struggle because I want to cry that there is no truth at all in the lies of the church-influenced media. Because this has nothing to do with the spirituality I know and love. But I do know that it isn't entirely a figment of evangelical propaganda. There are Pagans who say these things and openly espouse the values of wanton, immature, rebellious nihilism.

And I have searched for a coherent answer, a common definition or even a code of ethics broad enough and yet specific enough to be called "the Pagan way." And I've been told again and again that we are too broad, that nothing but external trappings connect us. And perhaps that is true, if you count everyone who ever used the word Pagan.

But today I've found a surprising spark of hope in this search.

It comes from Brendan Myers, who holds a doctorate in philosophy and writes extensively on environmental ethics and Neopagan topics. Many of Myers books may be too specific to one path or another but in The Other Side of Virtue (first published in 2008) he makes a credible, scholarly study of ethics and the meaning of a virtuous life, from ancient times to Harry Potter. Every other philosopher I have read and in fact my entire university philosophy program where I read Plato and the other thinkers that have shaped western society limited their study to the classical Roman and Greek period onward. Myers does what has been taboo and reaches beyond that boundary to explore the definition of "virtue" apparent in the remnants of ancient "heroic societies," the term he gives to pre-classical European tribal civilizations. 

Myers does not say in his book that he is defining indigenous-European Pagan ethics. It would be a very controversial claim. But he does it without the fanfare nonetheless. 

It is true that his entire study is limited to European thought, but the vast majority of those who self-identify as "Pagan" today do so in reference to spiritual paths that are at least inspired by indigenous European ideas. Even Wicca, which is so clearly not reconstructing a pre-Christian European Pagan faith, uses terms and concepts that are a clear reflection of its European roots. While I and many others may believe that Native American, Hindu, African and other earth-centered spiritual traditions are also "Pagan" in that they are non-Judeo-Christian and nature-based and involve similar ideas of deities, these communities generally do not use the term "Pagan" to describe themselves and thus they have to at least be given their own categories. Myers speaks specifically, though perhaps not exclusively, about indigenous-European Paganism--whether it be reconstructionist Celtic, Nordic, Slavic or Hellenistic or Wiccan, non-reconstructionalist Druidic or eclectic. He doesn't claim to speak to or for all these groups himself, but I assert that he makes a very good stab at it. 

The first half of The Other Side of Virtue is primarily a scholarly treatise on the development of European thought about what constitutes "virtue" and "the good way to live" since ancient times. Rather than glossing over the ancient Pagan era, Myers devotes the most pages and detail to that period and from what I have read of reconstructionist literature, his general conclusions easily apply to Celtic, Nordic (Germanic), Roman and Slavic belief systems of the times. This part of the book then presents today's Pagans with at the very least an interpretation of what ancient Eujropean Pagan ethics and philosophy was like.

And it is not a view without its uncomfortable corners. According to Myers the highest virtue for these "heroic societies was "honor" and that honor was something seen through a social lens. Those who were held in high esteem were truly believed to be good. The fact that a person was born with strength and physical beauty made them virtuous, as did their deeds. Virtue, including honor, meant being a strong chieftain or being the supporter of a strong chieftain. Those who won gained honor and those who lost were bereft. Honor can thus be seen in this ethos as more important than life and thus the focus in so many ancient tales such as Beowolf on saving honor even when it means giving up one's own life. And yet the way in which Myers shows the development and application of these ideas makes it eminently useful for modern life. 

Honor in Myers's study becomes the living of a life that is worthy of being told as a story. Honor and thus a large part of virtue can be attained by being an excellent craftsperson, a skilled and ethical businessperson, a leader who makes difficult decision, a soldier who thinks while also working within a team, an artist who creates something great. Honor is in the worthy use of the gifts one is given by "fate," whether they be physical attributes, wealth, position or internal talents. Thus while some honor may be due to a person who is famous for great beauty or success in business in their own right, far greater honor comes to those who have these gifts and use them for a great purpose. It is more in what you do with your blessings than what blessings you acquired. It is more in the sacrifice offered than in the size of what was horded. 

The second half of the book deals with a logical, philosophical argument, presented in clear, lay terms that are easy for those without a doctorate in philosophy to follow. Myers's thesis attempts to show what he believes can be proven based on natural objective principles to be the basis for living a good life, defined as a life of virtue or excellence. The ultimate measure of virtue in Myers's thinking is not what is applauded by others or what stands up to the laws of gods or human beings, but what way of life allows the individual to flourish and find greatest happiness and fulfillment. And so while Myers admits that there are unflattering strains of European thought, such as Nietzsche's concept of the ubermensch, which use the same ideas of honor to create great suffering, he shows where their logical pitfalls lie. And he does this without preaching about what is morally or ethically necessary by any law or teaching of society or gods. Instead he shows how living a life that can be told as a story of excellence is also to live the good life for one's self. 

The end of The Other Side of Virtue presents a deceptively simple test by which a person can determine--very individually and without the judgment of others--how to live with virtue and honor.

Because the underpinnings of the historical study and the logical argumentation are both sound and rooted in diverse Pagan philosophies, I would argue that Myers has a great deal to say about how one can find a moral compass for Neopaganism. It is true that such a compass may be different for different people. Myers doesn't offer any fully baked answers that don't come from within the individual, but he does give the raw materials by which a compass can be constructed.  

The Other Side of Virtue is both well written and readable but it is also groundbreaking in its gathering of today's Pagan movement. Certainly there will be those who continue to claim that we need no moral compass or even that such a thing is antithetical to the broad scope of modern Paganism, but I believe that if one reads Myers with an understanding that his descriptions of various historical beliefs do not mean that he sees them as any sort of law for how we should behave but simply a historical study and if one employs the objective tools he provides to look at one's own life, there can be some real conclusions drawn about what is true to Pagan beliefs and what is a pop-culture picture based on what Myers would term "modern malaise." No one is going to make that distinction for the individual but if individuals  pour their life into this vessel and look at the reflection, they may find their own definitions of what a life of great spirit and excellence looks like.

Mabon as an earth-centered thanksgiving

Some people poke fun at the number of holidays Pagan families celebrate. In reality we don't have that many more than other people. The problem is more that we often feel obliged to celebrate mainstream secular and/or Christian holidays as well, so that our children don't feel left out of school celebrations or to please extended families of different faiths.

Mabon is about the warmth of a home and a hearth as well as an open door to travelers and guests - image by Arie Farnam

That does sometimes leave us trying to do too much and rushing through what should be fun  and relaxed family traditions.

Sometimes the holidays work out fine. When we have Yule before Christmas it simply frees us up to be less stressed about it when the extended family wants to do secular Christmas and demand their preferred dates. We are done with our most important holiday of the season and we get to be flexible about it. So, we sort of include secular Christmas and Easter in our calendar. We ignore most political holidays and that leaves us with the issue of Thanksgiving.

We now live in Europe where we don't get a day off for American Thanksgiving and it is more difficult to have a fresh harvest feast in November in northern latitudes anyway. It is no surprise that Canadians celebrate Thanksgiving in September. And that got me thinking. 

For me the primary theme of Mabon is giving thanks and celebrating the bounty of the harvest. It also has to do with hospitality, honoring elders and giving both thanks and comfort to the animals in our vicinity. A few years ago, I realized that these themes work very well with the US Thanksgiving traditions of my youth.

And in fact, they fit much more with my sensibilities than a holiday devoted to a legend about Christians invading a country of cousin Pagans, abusing their hospitality and then giving all the credit for what good came of it to their foreign god. I never could relate to it from the time I was in kindergarten. And as an adult I can't eat a Thanksgiving dinner in November without feeling more grief over our history of genocide than gratitude for the blessings of the season. 

Yet we celebrated it because there was obviously something very important about a feast of harvest foods where the whole family gathered and gave attention to our gratitude. That is too good a thing to give up, which is why people who are uncomfortable with the history continue to celebrate that Thursday in November.

And that led me to a perfect solution. Mabon is the Pagan equivalent of Thanksgiving. It comes at a better (and more natural) time of year and we can use US Thanksgiving for what it should be, a day to commemorate a painful history and make restitution. So, I moved Thanksgiving to a weekend nearest to Mabon. 

Sharing the Mabon feast - image by Arie Farnam

In September I often have that comforting feeling of primal security when I look at the rows of canned fruits and vegetables and the bins of apples, potatoes, pumpkins and carrots in our root cellar, the freezers bulging with organic meat we have bartered for, the jars of dried fruit and the cupboards overflowing with dried, emulsified and tinctured herbs. 

And this all sets a natural mood for thanksgiving. We usually get a turkey or a half turkey, make a giant pan of stuffing, mashed potatoes, apple and pumpkin pies, even cranberry sauce when we can, often baked pumpkin from our garden. We often share the holiday with another family because my extended family is back home in North America. But even if we only eat a great harvest meal of our own, there are several specific traditions that make this day special.   

The children make beautiful Mabon crafts of tiny little acorn people (nature spirits who paint the leaves) and leaf rubbings framed with colorful paper on which we write Mabon blessings. The kids and I spend some time reading in front of the fire. We read from several Mabon editions of Pooka Pages, which both kids love, as well as a few seasonal books, including “Smoky and the Feast of Mabon” and “By the Light of the Harvest Moon.” As Mabon is also about thanking our animals, we snuggle with Eliska, our hardworking mouser, and thank her for keeping the rustlings in the walls at bay. We make sure she gets a generous portion of the feast as well.

I make a wreath for our door with corn husks, dried apples, dried herbs and currants, all things actually from our own harvest. I often make a centerpiece for the table consisting of sand in a nice bowl with vary-colored popcorn decoratively arranged on top to form a flat spot. Then, on that I place a cornhusk doll, symbolizing the full-bodied harvest goddess. Around her I put some of the children’s tiny toy animals representing all the animals that either help us in our daily lives or have given themselves for our sustenance.

On Mabon day, the those who wish to take part hold a Mabon ritual of thanksgiving and reciprocity. We sing the song “Ancient Mother”. And we made up an alternative to the standard goddess chant that focuses on the harvest goddesses of many cultures.

Creative Commons image by Julia Falk

Lajja Gauri, Zulu, Freya,
Sowathara, Sara Mama,
Rosmerta, Zeme, Demeter,
Oh, Mother Earth!

Lajja Gauri is a Hindu harvest goddess. Zulu is African. Freya is Scandinavian. Sowathara is Vietnamese. Sara Mama is Native American. Rosmerta is Celtic-Roman. Zeme is Slavic. Demeter hopefully needs no explanation. Our spiritual focus is international due to the international make-up of our family and home.

We also make symbolic offerings and bless a handful of coins that will be used to give to street musicians and people who forgot their train fares at the station. We don't have much in the way of financial resources, but it is important to share our harvest in whatever ways we can. When the harvest is good we give away extra pumpkins and squash to those who will actually eat them. Thanksgiving is after all in the end about interconnectedness.

A few years ago, I made up a Mabon song, which has become traditional in our house.

Mabon decorations - Image by Arie Farnam

Autumn Song
By Arie Anna Meadowlark

Hail to the Gods of winter.
Hail to the Night.
Hail to the dark times
With your stars bright.

Bring healing with your darkness.
Be gentle with your cold.
Give insight with your solitude
That brings comfort to the soul.

Farewell to the summer days.
Farewell to old man sun.
Farewell to the times of toil
And rough and tumble fun.

And though I love the summer,
I shall not shed a tear.
For the promise has been given.
The sun returns next year.

I love your comments on these posts. Share your own ideas and traditions below. How do you juggle both the Wheel of the Year and holidays celebrated in the wider community around you?  What are your traditions of thanksgiving and harvest?

And thank you for all the shares of these posts! May your harvest be blessed.

Book Review: Pagan Portals - The Morrigan: Meeting the Great Queens

Irish reconstructionist author Morgan Daimler is better known to me for her fiction, which is quite entertaining. I picked up her nonfiction book Pagan Portals - The Morrigan because I have been hearing a lot of murmurs among Pagans of various stripes about "dark Goddesses" and I wanted to understand the trend and its roots as well as learn about a tradition that isn't so distant from my own.

Pagan Portals - The Morrigan is essentially a beginner's text. As the subtitle Meeting the Great Queens suggests, it is an introduction.  As such it is tightly packed with information. The author presents concise and well-researched chapters on the history and stories surrounding various goddesses known as or associated with the Morrigan, which is presented as both a title held by several goddesses and the name of one goddess. This part of the book can be rather dry and difficult for those who have no access to the cultural atmosphere and tradition it comes out of. 

To help alleviate the dryness, Daimler presents poems, invocations and prayers of offering to the various goddesses highlighted and then a short passage on her personal experiences with the goddess or issue presented at the end of each chapter. These parts of the book serve to focus the scattered information and ground the reader on a sensory and emotional level. 

Many reviewers view it as a positive thing that Daimler presents all sides of various disagreements among Pagans on the goddesses and issues presented. She lets the reader know which side she favors, but this is simply f information. There is no attempt to persuade the reader of the various arguments and thus for a beginner it can be disorienting. Some of the information and arguments are contradictory, and Daimler isn't going to tell you what to think. It's hard to keep straight what is debated from this short tight text. And I come out of it with very few questions actually answered, although I do know a lot more.

I particularly enjoyed the chapter on the Morrigan in the context of contemporary neopaganism. It's full of welcome practicality and clear definitions. It can be viewed as a very broad how-to and with creativity and focus, one could begin a relationship with the Morrigan on this basis. 

As Daimler mentions, this is an introduction. It can give a sense of what there is to learn about the Morrigan. And it gives distinct hope for those, particularly women, seeking strong spiritual guidance and direction. Anyway you look at it the Morrigan is a fierce goddess of feminine power and intensity. For those who face a hard road in life and need strong protection and courageous support, there is hope here. And for those who have been made to suppress their inner fire and to feel shame for their intensity, this can be a breath of fresh air. 

You can find this book, Pagan Portals - The Morrigan here.

I have no affiliation with this author, but I do occasionally get free ebooks from her publisher in exchange for an honest review. 

Lughnasadh: A time for community and craft

Lughnasadh or Lammas is stands out for our family from the other Pagan holidays. Most holidays we spend with family and the focus is on special meals, crafts, songs and kid-friendly rituals. But this holiday at the very beginning of August is different by its very nature. This is the season to focus on the harvest, community as well as work, skilled crafts and mentors or teaching. It's an outwardly focused time, the polar opposite of Imbolc's introspection. 

Creative Commons image by Amber Fray

Many Pagan communities choose to hold their large community gatherings at this time of year. The weather is most likely to be good and the energy is community oriented. As a result many families have very simple and flexible traditions attached to this season.

This year for the first time, we have a local Pagan event for Lughnasadh that is appropriate for families with children. That's because we're hosting it in our back yard. We're gathering Pagan families to do a simple ritual and hold a community feast. But given that this is the first year we've done this, it isn't a tradition yet.

Helping with this sort of gathering is a great way to combine the themes of this time. If your local community does organize Pagan events, consider asking what you can do to help, clean up the area after the event, arrive early to help set things up or take on one of the many small roles that are needed to make a gathering work. This is the day of giving back. 

Even if your community doesn't have Pagan events and you can't make one happen yourself, there are other ways to contribute to your community. Many years we have found some way to volunteer. We plan to volunteer as ESL teachers at a summer camp for disadvantaged children when our kids are old enough. And we always have litter-clean-up expeditions at this time of year. 

Even so, it's a challenge to do a big community project right in the middle of the harvest. If you grow a big garden like we do, this is a busy time of the year.  The garden still needs tending and canning, freezing and drying food are now taking up a lot of time. Part of my craft is making herbal medicines for my extended family and friends. That is also one way I contribute to the community because I give my medicinals freely rather than selling them. That means that even when I don't pull off a community project at this time, I'm still putting energy into community with the herbs I'm gathering. 

And yet, as always I want my children to have a tradition to anchor them in the energy of the season. So, we still have a few things we do as a family that will always tie the holiday together. They are simpler than usual and can be done anywhere, because we may not be home.

Crafts and Ritual

We sometimes do a ritual giving thanks for our harvest and blessing our garden. This is always outdoors at this time of year and often a bit informal. In our climate the corn on the cob isn't ready yet but it is tall and looking like it will be ready soon. The kids are eagerly waiting for it to get ripe.

So, this is a good time to use cornmeal as an offering to scatter outside. If you grow a different staple crop, you might want to use something related to that crop. 

Because the kids are so active outside these days and more likely to be half naked and wet than not, it's a good time for crafts like face painting and tie-dye. But the primary craft of the season is a craft for me rather than for the children. And it's also our most important Lughnasadh family tradition.

Lughnasadh cloth - Creative Commons image by Arie Farnam

A few years ago, my mother gave me a special table cloth that I remembered from my childhood and this became our special Lughnasadh cloth. Whatever gathering of friends, family and community we attend at Lughnasadh, we take the table cloth with us, even if it is an outside event. I encourage everyone to sign the table cloth.  Then I carry the cloth around with me most of the winter. And in those idle moments when I am waiting for kids at music classes or when there is a quiet evening, I embroider the names on the signed cloth in a color specific to that year. Last year our Lughnasadh event was a camping trip that included a bunch of Ukrainian friends of friends, so I spent the winter embroidering beautiful Cyrillic letters. 

The result is a beautiful cloth full of incredible memories. I'm not particularly skilled with a needle but that doesn't matter much after the project gets going. It is still quite beautiful and it carries the sense of community that is perfect for Lughnasadh.

You can duplicate this tradition by choosing a sturdy table cloth and starting with whatever gathering you attend this year. White isn't mandatory and orange or light brown would absorb stains better than mine and be wonderful for the season. You could use permanent markers instead of embroidery for an easier but no-less-meaningful version. Just remember to use just one color per year and mark the year in the same color in the corner of the cloth. In a few years the cloth will be colorful and you will be able to look back and recall the gatherings of past years based on the colors of the names of those who were there. 

Cooking

The best food of Lughnasadh is the fresh produce of a garden. Ripe tomatoes, corn on the cob, salad greens, carrots and herbs. We eat big salads or put the veggies into no-cook spring rolls.  Lughnasadh is also the known as the grain harvest so bread or pasta salad are big favorites and it's handy that they are easy to carry because unless we're working in the garden, we're unlikely to be home at all. 

Bohemian fruit pizza

Another way to both use your local fruit harvest and make bread at the same time is to make Bohemian fruit pizza. It is technically called pie in the Czech Republic but it resembles pizza more than anything else to foreigners. This is a pretty healthy recipe and can be eaten for breakfast and snacks, not just for desert. This is also a handy finger food to bring to community feasts.

Ingredients:

• 1/2 pound potatoes
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup cold water
• 1/4 cup butter 
• 2 smallish eggs (or 4 egg yolks)
• 1 tablespoon Yeast
• 1/4 cup slightly warm water
• 1 tablespoon sugar
• Several cups of flour depending on consistency
• Fruit (such as plums, apples, blackberries, pitted cherries, blueberries or huckleberries)
• 1/2 cup Powdered sugar
• 1/2 cup flour (half and half whole grain if you want to be really healthy about it)
• 1/3 cup cold butter

Directions:

1. Peel and chop 1/2 pound of potatoes. Place in a small pan with one cup of water and half a teaspoon of salt. Cook until very soft and don't strain the water off.
2. Mash up the potatoes and add half a stick (1/4 cup) of butter and mash that in to the hot potatoes as well. 
3. Start yeast off to the side. Mix tablespoon of dry yeast, 1/4 cup slightly warm water and one tablespoon of sugar in a separate container. Let it sit while your potatoes cool off.
4. When the potatoes have cooled off a bit add your eggs. You can use just egg yolks instead. This is an old grandmother's trick from Bohemia that is supposed to make the cake even better. Mix it in and make the potato mixture into a smooth mass.
5. Add a cup of flour to your potato mixture and stir well.
6. Once it is cool enough that it is around body temperature, add the yeast mixture and stir well.
7. Transfer the mixture to a large mixing bowl and add more flower until the dough is kneadable. You'll need several more cups of flour.
8. Let the dough rise for an hour under a warm damp cloth.
9. Spread flour on your work surface. Knead your dough again and then roll it out into roughly the shape of your baking tray. Then carefully roll the dough around your rolling pin and transfer it to the greased baking sheet. Gently pull at the corners and sides to shape the dough to fit the pan and stick it slightly to the sides. 
10. Spread thinly sliced fruit over the dough. Try to cover as much of the dough as possible but don't overlap into too thick a layer.  
11. In a separate bowl tweak together 1/2 cup flour with 1/2 cup powdered sugar and 1/3 cup cold butter to make a crumbly mixture. 
12. Scatter the crumbly mixture over your cake. 
13. Let the cake rise for another half an hour or hour. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit (180 C) fifteen minutes before you want to put it in.
14. Back for 30 to 45 minutes. 

Spring rolls with fresh seasonal greens

1. Prepare:

• Thin sheets of rice paper
• Cooked fine rice noodles
• Small pieces of cooked, lightly salted meat or egg
• A bunch of salad greens an herbs cut up fine
• Thinly sliced strips of red pepper (optional)
• Thinly sliced boiled eggs (optional)

2. Fill a low pan with hot water and place it on a table with all your supplies.

3. Lay a sheet of rice paper into the pan of hot water, covering the sheet entirely and then carefully lift it out and put the wet sheet on a plate.

4. Put the most colorful bits of prepared food on first (usually eggs, peppers and dark greens or herbs). Place them in a line across the middle of the rice paper. Then add greens, meat or tofu and noodles. (You only really need a little of each thing for one sheet of rice paper. Keep them small and rolling will be easier.)

5. Carefully fold a bit of rice paper over the ends of the line and then roll the rice paper around the line of food.  The rice paper will stick to itself, so that the roll won't come open once you've rolled it up.

6. Set your spring roll on a plate and repeat the process until you have enough (An adult in our household usually eats 5 or 6 spring rolls for a meal.)

7. Serve the spring rolls with small bowls of spicy dressing for dipping. To make easy Vietnamese sauce for fresh spring rolls mix these ingredients roughly in this order:

• 2 tablespoons of sugar
• 1/4 cup hot water
• 2 tablespoons of lemon juice
• 1-2 cloves of crushed garlic
• 1/2 teaspoon very hot garlic chili sauce
• 4 teaspoons fish sauce (nuk mam) 

Joyous Lughnasadh and Lammas to you and yours. May your harvest in all areas of life be blessed. 

Leave a comment below and share your own traditions. Send this post around to friends. This is another way to be part of a global community.

Living close to the land at the Summer Solstice

I don't suppose life was ever easy for people who subsisted directly from the land they lived on, whether hunting and gathering or practicing small-scale agriculture. But it has become even harder to live "off the land" in the past thirty years, in particular. 

I grew up in a remote, rural corner of Eastern Oregon and my parents made a fair stab at living an earth-centered life, growing and raising a great deal of our food in the 1980s. There are still people who do that today and some even live off the grid, running their homes with solar and wind power. But there are a lot of hardships involved. The climate has become harsh and unpredictable in many areas. Climate change and international travel have spread pests to areas where they have no predators and made subsistence organic agriculture has become a risky gamble indeed.

Economically, in the United States and Europe at least the burdens of taxes and regulations have made it increasingly hard to raise children while living on the land and off the grid. I'm not saying it's impossible and those who do it, even for short periods, have my respect. But as much as I would like to, I don't live entirely in that way.

Instead my husband and I have worked to build a life that is as ecologically sustainable and low-impact as we reasonably can make it - given our climate, geographic location and economic situation. Our second goal is to raise our children in as healthy an environment as possible without entirely segregating ourselves from modern society. 

In practice, this means we grow as much food as we can, focusing on crops which do well in our climate and which are somewhat resistant to local plagues of slugs and mold. This means that we eat a lot of squash, pumpkins, kale, lettuce, green beans, currants, blackberries and plums. I was fortunate enough to start out loving these foods. Yet I'll admit that going into our tenth year at this, I find bananas exciting and maple syrup is an ecstatic experience. 

But on another level, I have come to grasp viscerally the way agricultural peoples saw their staple crops. Early to mid-June is a very sensitive time for squash and pumpkin plants in our climate. They are still fragile and susceptible to being eaten by slugs until they grow spines and tough sin. One year a hail storm in June decimated our crop, having a painful impact on our family's ability to eat organic meals for the next year. We are fortunate that crop disaster doesn't mean starvation for us, but it does mean unhealthy, pesticide laden food. The fact is that in the Czech Republic organic produce is far beyond our budget, unless we grow it. 

And so gardening, the work of feeding a family directly from the soil has become a big part of my spiritual path as well. This year my pumpkin and squash seedlings were slow to get going and I worried and called out for help. But they finally did come up and are now a good hand high. When a hail storm came last week, I ran out in it with pots and bowls to cover the seedlings. My six-year-old daughter stood in the doorway handing me more, her eyes wide with anxiety and excitement, as the downpour soaked me to the skin and the beginnings of hail bounced off my head. 

I saved the crop and caught a cold. Fortunately, the garden also has medicinal herbs for tea. While I recovered, my daughter devised her first ever ritual and prayer on her own.

I was amazed and gratified to see the level of sophistication she had gained mostly by just watching me in my spiritual practice. She asked me to help her light candles and use a sage smudge. Then she made up a prayer, invoking Thor (as the Norse god she associates with Thunder based on a story she heard once three years ago) and White Shell Woman the Navajo goddess of crops and livelihood. She asked for the hail to move on, for the rain to go to the desert "where grandma Julie really needs it" and for our garden to grow. She made an offering of blackberry cake outside, a true sacrifice because it's a special treat. 

By the time the Solstice comes around the pumpkin and squash plants will be big enough that they can survive both slugs and hail, the corn will be well started, the fruit trees will all have flowered and set fruit and the green beans will be climbing their trellises. We'll have very practical reasons to celebrate and a sense of our labor combining with the energy of the earth and sun to give us our livelihood. 

Whether you live in a city or in a place where you have the luxury of a garden, Litha or the Summer Solstice is a worthy time to think about how you combine your labor with the energies of the earth and sun. Maybe you live in such a way that you do have the budget to buy locally grown organic produce and thus support a large-scale development of sustainability. Maybe you grow basil and sage on your window sill in a small apartment, so that you can cook tasty food from scratch and avoid harmful and ecologically unfriendly flavorings and packaged foods. Maybe you volunteer or contribute financially to organizations that work for ecological and sustainable development.

Whatever it is the Summer Solstice is a time for these energies to come together. Here are some of the ways I celebrate in a family with small children.

Cooking

Picking strawberries - Creative Commons image by Loadmaster (David R. Tribble)

There is one other crop we've worked long and hard to grow. It hasn't been as easy as our staple crops but it is one that is worth it. We grow 20 strawberry plants. After years of trial and error we have hit on a system where we get most of the strawberries and the slugs and mold only get a few. And it is usually right before the Summer Solstice that our full-season-producing strawberries are at their peek. Given a good sunny week, we can all have fresh strawberry shortcake with organic strawberries that I can feel good about watching my kids eat. 

Here is my deluxe strawberry shortcake recipe. Keep in mind that strawberries really are one of those foods that is particularly worth buying organic. If you can't grow them yourself, barter, trade and save to buy them. There are places where you can pick your own in local organic gardens and cut the cost a bit. 

My recipe, developed over the past dozen years is a combination of my mother's buttermilk biscuits and my strawberry sauce

Grandma Julie's buttermilk biscuits

1. Preheat the oven to 425 F (210 C).

2. Mix together:

• 1 1/2 cups flour
• 1 1/2 tablespoons sugar
• 1/4 teaspon salt

3. Stir and tweak in

• 1/4 cup (1/2 stick) cold butter cut into small pieces. 

4. Add

• 1/4 teaspoon soda
• 1 1/2 teaspoon baking powder

5. Stir and add

• 3/4 cup buttermilk (plain yogurt works in a pinch)

6. Combine and kneed a very little in order to make a smooth, somewhat sticky dough.

7. Divide into six equal pieces and shape each piece into a flat disk.

8. Put the biscuit disks on a cookie sheet covered with baking paper (or greased).

9. Bake for 15 minutes. 

Mama Arie's strawberry sauce

10. Clean and cut the tops off the strawberries. Then divide them in half. 

• For each biscuit you'll need about a double handful of strawberries. You can get by with a bit less but the more the merrier.  

11. Put one half of the strawberries into a bowl. Use a potato masher or a fork to slightly crush the strawberries and release their juice. 

12. Add

• about 4 tablespoons of sugar for a standard batch (or add slowly to taste)

13. Mix and add

• 4 - 6 tablespoons of sour cream

14. Save the other half of the strawberries for putting on top.

15. Place a biscuit on a plate and cut it into cubes. Pour strawberry-sour-cream sauce over it and top with cut strawberries. Whipped cream is optional. 

Our other staple of the Summer Solstice is big salads containing garden greens, chives, radishes and edible flowers (dandelions, violets, daisies) - basically whatever we can grow at this season - with feta cheese, boiled eggs, sunflower seeds and herb and yogurt dressing. The kids are very enthusiastic after a winter of cooked veggies.

Crafts

There is so much activity around Beltane that the fairy theme seems to get lost in the shuffle then. This is when we really go all out with fairy crafts, coloring sheets, anything with multicolored wings (butterflies made of tissue paper, wands with fairies at the end). We also make sun catchers to hang in the windows or from trees outside, often using translucent materials that can channel light.

However,these crafts can often be found elsewhere, so the one I want to highlight here is one I partly developed from just the glimmer of an idea mentioned elsewhere. It is particularly special because:

• It is exceptionally easy and can be made by even very young children.
• Yet it's beautiful enough to delight adults and be a real home decoration.
• It's a sun image.
• It's made with natural materials.
• And it helps to clean out the pantry in preparation for storing food for another winter.

Creative Commons attribution required illustration by Arie Farnam

Thus it really combines all the elements we want with the Summer Solstice - sun, natural materials, the bounty of the earth, the remembrance that winter will come again. You could even add a fairy if you wanted. 

You will need:

• A clean, sanded, flat square of wood or stiff cardboard as backing
• A pencil
• A lot of white glue
• A bag of red lentils
• A bag of black beans

And here are the steps: 

1. Draw a simple, bold sun shape on your backing with a pencil.
2. Cover the area you drew generously with glue.
3. Pour red lentils generously over the glue.
4. Lightly press the lentils into the glue with your hand.
5. Set aside to dry.
6. Pour the excess lentils, which did not get glued, off.
7. Cover the remaining area of the backing generously with glue. 
8. Lightly press the beans into the glue with your hand.
9. Set aside to dry.
10. Pour the excess beans off.
11. You can either fix a hanger to the back and hang this on the wall or prop it up on your window sill or alter. 

Blessings of the sun to all!

Ritual and fun with children

Creative Commons image by Kathie Hodge

We rarely do a large ritual at Litha. If possible we hold a family bonfire in our garden and sing and drum to help the crops and our dreams grow. Because the Book of Runes by Ralph H. Blum was written over the night of the Summer Solstice, I find it to be a good time for run work. I made my rune script of protection that hangs on the center beam of our house on the Summer Solstice, for instance. It's a time of activity and work. 

But I like to have something that sets the special days apart for the children and besides crafts and strawberry shortcake, we often make fairy houses in the woods. The key is to use all found natural materials that don't harm the plants. It is a way for children to connect with the growing natural world in a deep way. 

We usually start by making walls out of rows of sticks, placing leaf dishes and beds inside and then covering the whole with a roof of moss or bark. Pebbles can be used to make a pretty pathway up to the door. 

Children's Summer Solstice Blessing

Here is a short sun blessing that my children have enjoyed this year. Feel free to use and adapt as you wish.

Ancient Sun, reborn sun, giver of life and energy,

in oil, tree, herb and tide, in harvest bounty and in light,

as you shine in the heavens kindle our hearts with fire.

May you light the world as you light the sky

I love to hear from you. Feel free to ask questions or share your own summer solstice blessings and tips in the comments (icon on the lower left). Share this article with your friends using the icon on the lower right. 

I would also like to invite you to my hearth-side email circle. This is a small group of readers with whom I share the occasional virtual cup of tea and links to my latest writing. This is my protected, spam-free corner of the internet, so that's all you'll receive. 

Beltane and the Witch: Celebrating resilience

The night is dark as you drive out across the East Bohemian highlands. The lights of villages are hidden deep in the vales and hollows of the rolling land. The smell of plum blossoms prickles your nose and there is still a nip in the air on the last night of April.

Leaf crowns for Beltane

Then you round a bend and catch your breath. The stars have fallen onto the hills. For there… and there… and there... and right above the road… and twinkling far off to the south are the fires on the hilltops. And there is something in you that knows this calls back across the millennia and connects you through the land to those who came before.

When I first came to the Czech Republic I didn’t know about the tradition of Beltane fires. I grew up with earth-based spirituality but we didn’t call ourselves Pagan and Beltane was actually one of the few Pagan holidays we didn’t mark in any particular way. I d heard of it, of course, but mostly in a historical context.

Then I drove out to East Bohemia one Beltane night and my soul sang with recognition. This is one of the places in Central Europe where Beltane fires are still lit on the tops of hills and groups of people sit around them and play guitars or flutes to commune with the stars.

Today much of the meaning has been lost… or it seems to have been. As with so many Pagan holidays, this one has been corrupted by later anti-Pagan influences. Beltane is actually called "the Witch” in Czech. And before you get excited about that you should know that the reason it's called the Witch is because it's supposed to be about burning witches.

Czech children are encouraged to make ugly, mocking figures of witches and mount them on stakes in the midst of the bonfire. In my husband’s home village, far to the south in the flat swampy land of South Bohemia, they raise a sixty-foot maypole each year. They don't use any machines to do this, despite the abundance of farm tractors and  cranes in the village. It's still an experience of male bonding in which all of the men, young and old, use a system of levers to raise it. There's no dancing but there is sometimes music. The bonfire is as big as a house and usually has multiple stakes with the female figures tied to them.

The men of Stribrec village raise the maypole next to the witch fire.

I try to embrace the good parts of these traditions. There are usually plenty of children around who are eager for a craft, so I bring materials to make flower and leaf crowns. And we play circle games in the dusk on the village green where the bonfire burns. At least it's a Pagan holiday that is still celebrated here, despite the gruesome imagery.

But still... I can’t  celebrate Beltane here without the shadow of sadness or without my trigger buttons of social trauma being pushed. The concept of outcast witches being burnt in fires is a little too close to home when I experienced extreme ostracism and outcast status as a child, due to my vision impairment and earth-based family culture.

Some people, many Czech Pagans included, put a positive spin on the tradition of burning the Witch. They say that the witch figures are “the witch of winter” and burning them (or in some cases casting them into a flowing river) is a symbol of letting go of old, outmoded thinking and making way for new spring growth. I support this weaving of traditions and that is what I tell my children about the witches in the Beltane fires. The are four and six years old and a little young for explanations of the darker aspects. They will encounter this Czech tradition everywhere at this time of year, so I can't abolish it. I can only change my attitude towards it.

Ember Farnam dancing the maypole

Yet I can easily imagine a lighter and more joyful Beltane. Two years ago, we stayed home on Beltane, instead of visiting my husband’s village and we built our own maypole and engaged the kids from our neighborhood in dancing with ribbons. We made flower cake and leaf crowns and sang songs. We hung flower decorations from our fruit trees and built our own bonfire for a brief ritual to celebrate life and passion of all kinds.

I enjoy joyful Beltane celebration of love and life. But then I miss the depth of feeling in the other, grittier version. Though most Czechs don't know it, they celebrate Beltane by dancing along the knife edge of history, going back more than a thousand years to a time when Celtic druids walked these hills and celebrated the rite of spring. And so maybe the symbols of pain and suffering are fitting after all. They tell of the resilience of these people who were forced to change and adapt by multiple invading hordes, by a succession of foreign kings, by a monolithic religion that tried very hard to stamp out their celebrations, by two brutal world wars, by the deadening totalitarian regime of the last century that attempted to crush all traces of spirituality and finally by modern consumerist cultural homogeneity.

And yet they still light Beltane fires... after all that. Now that's resilience.

There's another way I celebrate Beltane with my children. This is the time of year when we read books about environmental problems and the heroes and heroines of earth-protection movements. We talk about what we can do to help. We pick up litter and I give the kids lessons in conserving energy, reducing waste and recycling. We talk about Greenpeace and renew our family contribution. We garden and write letters for environmental activism. These are small things but they are part of the season for us. 

And this too is connected because the earth is "the witch" in so many ways--the quintessential outcast mother figure. The earth has suffered so much and continues to come back. There are places in the Czech Republic that were utterly devastated twenty years ago, the trees all gone and the ground literally gray from the effects of massive acid rain and coal smoke. Industrial conditions have been improved in that area and those places that seemed beyond salvage a few years ago are now some of the most beautiful areas of the country. And that's resilience.

As our ancestors kept on living and loving through all they endured... as the earth keeps on regenerating despite incredible abuse... as the spring always comes again after winter, may Beltane bring us the blessings of resilience. 

Here are my tips for family Beltane celebrations:

Crafts:

Flower babies and mini maypole

Leaf crowns: Construct a simple crown by making a cardboard headband. You can either use double-sided tape and stick real leaves to the headband for a quick and particularly verdant crown or you can paint paper leaves and glue them on for something a bit more durable. 

Flower babies: Paint small balls in various skin tones and add faces to them. Crumple colored tissue paper around them to make petals and glue in place.  Attach a pipe cleaner to the back to make a flower and you have cute images of flowers and babies combined.

Miniature maypole:  You can make a miniature maypole as a table decoration. Fill a pretty bowl with play doh and stick a fairly straight stick into the middle of it. Make a ring out of a piece of ribbon and attach this to the top. Then take lengths of various colored ribbons and attach them to the ring, letting them hang down on the sides or attaching them to the edges of the bowl. 

Flower cake

Cooking

Flower cake:  Make your favorite cake base but add dandelion, violet and daisy petals to the batter. Then make pink frosting with a package of cream cheese, a few teaspoons of beet or black berry juice, two tablespoons of lemon juice and powdered sugar to taste. Decorate the top with more flower petals and candied violets (my recipe here). 

Spring bounty salad: Make a salad with young greens and herbs and add edible flower petals such as dandelion, violets and daisies. Put goat cheese, boiled eggs, seeds and oil and vinegar on top. 

Songs

I like to sing Simple Gifts and The Earth is Our Mother at Beltane time. 

Here is a song I made up that young children can sing around the Beltane fire to the tune of Mulberry Bush:

Children's Beltane decorations

Here we go round the Beltane fire, the Beltane fire, the Beltane fire.

Here we go round the Beltane fire in the rite of spring.

The earth, our mother, rises again, rises again, rises again.

The earth, our mother, rises again with the coming of spring.

Come and dance for love and joy, love and joy, love and joy.

Come and dance for love and joy, that all may live and grow.

Book Review: Naming the Goddess

A defining work for today's goddess spirituality

I'm delighted to share this next book with you. Naming the Goddess, an anthology of over eighty Pagan writers edited by Trevor Greenfield, is a wonderful reflection of Pagan community and writing craft. I expect it will become a mainstay on the bookshelves of Pagans for at least a generation. 

Ceres, the Roman goddess of agriculture: image by the Borghese Collection

The book has two parts. The first section is a series of essays tackling crucial and often divisive issues within goddess-oriented communities. There is no attempt to gloss over or hide from the issues that trouble us. They are brought out and discussed both thoughtfully and eloquently from a variety of perspectives, some of which conflict with each other. The reader is allowed to see differences in perspective and to form independent ideas. 

The second section is among the best references on specific goddesses that I have seen. It is heavy on Egyptian, Middle Eastern, Greek, Roman and Celtic goddesses with a smattering of others. There is a problematic lack of non-Egyptian African goddesses. Still the geographical imbalance is less marked than in most similar references and Naming the Goddess represents a step in the right direction. I hope that future editions of the book will expand the cultural diversity of the anthology.

The reason I say this is one of the best references on goddesses is because each entry is written by a different writer--a writer with specific personal experience of the goddess in question. Each entry has a different flavor and a distinct passion that could never be achieved with a reference written by one person. This allows the reader to gain an intuitive sense of the goddesses, rather than just the intellectual understanding of correspondences and stories. 

Book Review: Wild Earth, Wild Soul

A manual for leading workshops in ecological interconnection

The description I encountered for Wild Earth, Wild Soul by Bill Pfeiffer prior to reading it for review didn't sufficiently prepare me for the fact that this is primarily a manual for leading a particular type of retreat group. The Amazon description makes it sound like the book itself is meant to help the reader tap into ancestral memories, become part of a lasting culture and develop an ecstatic life.  That's a bit misleading.

The book is instead a fairly well-organized manual for workshop and retreat leaders in a specific tradition that the reader is expected to already be somewhat familiar with. The book is well-written with accessible prose and interesting examples. However, its structure as a manual for a specific type of workshop will be less useful to readers who aren't involved in the specific Wild Earth Intensive movement. It also isn't the best introduction to such a movement, with the emphasis being on how to lead groups rather than on the underlying concepts and ideas.

That said the book does have one use for the general reader who is interested in community organizations and leadership. Many of the activities in the book could be adapted to other types of workshops and organizations. While some of the activities and ideas are things familiar to most people involved in environmental movements, some are quite unique and refreshing. There is enough detail that an experienced workshop leader could adapt them to a variety of situations.

The one thing I find truly lacking in the book both for the general reader and for the Wild Earth Intensive movement is a serious treatment of social exclusion in groups. The focus of the book is on developing not only an ecologically sustainable culture but on forming community that will be sustainable through deepening interconnection between human beings in a group and with the natural world. The concept is a good one and mostly it is well executed. However, it comes from the perspective of a person who has always been well-accepted socially and without a deep consciousness of social trauma. There is little or nothing to address the issues facing people with disabilities or other truly marginalized individuals in a group. And these issues will come up for a workshop coordinator in such a setting. They come up at every similar conference or workshop I have attended and I have seen leaders fail time and again to address them well and bring the group to accept excluded members of the group. There is some attempt in Wild Earth, Wild Soul to address the need to balance the more talkative and less talkative members of the group through specific methods, and these are good ones. However, there are also plenty of suggestions of dividing the group up into pairs without the recognition that there will always be one or two individuals who no one will voluntarily pair with because of uncomfortable differences. There can be no sustainable culture and no interconnection as long as these issues are not addressed in the very settings where people are most interested in overcoming social and ecological trauma. The book tackles these tough issues weakly and insufficiently, yet I know of no comparable book that deals with them any better at present. 

Book Review: Let's Talk About Pagan Elements and the Wheel of the Year

Yet another Pagan children's book with awkward prose and didactic tone

I was curious about Let's Talk About Pagan Elements and the Wheel of the Year by Siusaidh Ceanadach since I first heard about it a year ago, but I'm disappointed yet again.

I have a library of hundreds of children's books, including classics and a great many obscure treasures that teach children about far-flung cultures, social troubles and emotional issues. I can easily tell the difference between the stories that hold the interest of my children and the children who I teach and those that don't. More importantly, it doesn't seem that long ago since I was a kid myself and I read stories hungrily, spitting out the ones that tasted of dry sawdust or cliched cough syrup and devouring those that had the ring of truth and mutual recognition. 

My collection contains some of most well-known Pagan books for children and yet there are regrettably few modern Pagan books that my children want to sit through, let alone ask for. The stories of Pooka the cat and those in Circle Round are the most notable exceptions. That was why I was so excited about Let's Talk About Pagan Elements and the Wheel of the Year.  It isn't supposed to be just a teaching book. It contains stories about children who modern kids can relate to, or so I was told. 

The book's structure is straightforward, a very brief introduction to elements which reads like a short version of a particularly uninspired adult text. Then there is a short, Wiccan-leaning abstract of each of the eight Pagan holidays that make up the Wheel of the Year in many traditions. After each abstract there is a "story," which is in fact more like a character sketch of a modern child having something to do with the holiday. Each section ends with a list of research questions, asking kids to find details about the given holiday with an emphasis on agriculture.

The prose is the primary problem with this book. It is formal, awkward and pedantic. The tone is that of an adult speaking to a child of about the age of six or seven, while the vocabulary and content is suitable for a trivia-oriented twelve or thirteen year old. The book fails every age level. Younger children will find the content and vocabulary inaccessible, dull and out of touch with their experience. Older children will be likely to reject the book due to the combination of the abstract overviews and the condescending tone.

The "stories" which were originally the most attractive part of the book to me are not really stories at all. There is no tension, no problem to be solved, no question to be answered. Each is essentially a moralizing character sketch that Pagan parents who grew up with Christian Sunday school will recognize in tone and style.  The child in each story has no dilemma but randomly comes across some information or inspiration for the holiday. That's it. The prose is again condescending and uninteresting, although somewhat smoother than the writing in the abstracts.

The last part of each section--the suggested research questions--is arguably the best part of the book. If a parent was teaching children between the ages of eight and twelve about Pagan holidays, one could take these questions and adapt them for use as a kind of scavenger hunt. They won't satisfy the interests of teenagers well but middle grade kids, especially those with some experience with farming, may find them mildly interesting. Still there are better resources available both in books and free on-line. 

All in all, I am still hoping for better Pagan children's books. This one is disappointing with no good excuse. I have no specific quibble with the content. It isn't incorrect or offensive in any significant  way. It leans toward Wiccan paths and has a relatively heavy focus on agriculture, making it difficult for many modern kids to relate to. The Wheel of the Year is tied closely to agriculture after all, but there are better ways of making that connection relevant to children living in cities and growing a pot of basil on their window sill. 

Book Review: Way of the Druid provides a readable, balanced and fascinating overview of both ancient and modern traditions

I grew up with spiritual beliefs adopted from earth-based traditions that floated around the air in my parents' generation. We never had a name for what we believed and were always taught to think that the spirituality of indigenous peoples is to be coveted among those with an earth-based or Pagan bent. Recently I have become interested in more seriously studying the beliefs of various cultures, to understand where our beliefs come from and find appropriate words to describe my own beliefs. 

I jumped at the opportunity to review Way of the Druid by Graeme K. Talboys because I live in an area of Central Europe that was once heavily Celtic. The shadows and echos of ancient Celtic beliefs still crop up in folk traditions from time to time. My own background is mixed enough to contain a little Celt here and there as well. So, I came to the book with interest but a little trepidation. It looked like an academic tome and I wasn't sure I had the attention span at the moment, while dealing with toddlers. 

It is hard to find time to read these days and it takes a lot to hold my attention. It felt a bit difficult to get through the compact section on history at the beginning of Way of the Druid, but when it was over I realized that it was actually fairly painless as histories go. It managed to summarize the history while shedding light on the academic controversies and problems with evidence when detailing the lives of Druids who specifically didn't write down their beliefs. 

After that the book picked up the pace of interest with sections on the Celtic metaphysic, the nature of religion, the history of Druid revivalism and overviews of modern Druid practices, beliefs and traditions. As some other reviewers have mentioned, the book doesn't go into great detail about modern Druid orders or organizations. It isn't dated by a focus on certain groups or events and it is not promoting any particular Druid group or interpretation, which was a great relief to me.

There are controversial matters of academic debate in the book and without going to all the source material, I can't say that the author is correct in all conclusions. However, the work makes a serious attempt at both historical documentation and a solid portrayal of modern Druid traditions, walking a difficult path between being broad enough not to exclude or offend various groups and yet specific enough to make sense.  

I found the prose to be concise and readable. There are dry sections. There is no attempt to make history or the discussion of religion theory into somethihng funny or entertaining. The reader is either interested in these topics or the reader isn't. I am interested and I found the theoretical sections as fascinating as the practical parts. The structure was clear and without meandering. I can easily see where I could come back to the book in the future to find specific information through the table of contents and turn to the right section without trouble, even in the parts that describe seemingly amorphous metaphysical concepts. 

This book would be useful for those interested in comparative theology, religion, European history and anthropology. It is specifically helpful to anyone who wants to understand modern Druids and may be very helpful to those exploring earth-based spirituality. One thing you will find here that I have found lacking in so many other places is a very clear description of the worldview of Celtic peoples and an understanding of how different these views are from Anglo-Saxon, Classical and Abrahamic concepts. It is also very different from the beliefs of indigenous peoples on other continents. It answered a lot of subtle questions I didn't even know how to ask and helped to patch some holes in my web of understanding, linking the diverse cultures that make up our family and social background.  

The balancing act of celebrating Ostara in a Christian-majority culture

Ostara is one of my children’s favorite holidays. Even as toddlers they remembered the experience of hunting for eggs from one year to the next. One of our other family traditions is decorating a plum tree in the front yard with blown eggs, something that a few people in Bohemia still do as part of their Easter traditions.

Our plum tree the year it snowed on Ostara

While I do love Ostara, it is the time of year when the issue of being Pagan in a Christian-majority society comes to the fore.  I would say that it's a greater issue for me at this time of year than it is at Yule. At Yule the Christmas holiday comes so quickly that it is easy for children to understand the connection and not get confused. They easily realize that some people say Yule or Solstice and some people say Christmas or Hanukkah and these are essentially similar holidays with different names and somewhat different traditions. We usually have our main Yule celebrations around the Solstice and then go to the Czech grandparents' place for a secular Christmas celebration that ties in nicely to a "twelve days of Yule" approach.

But with Ostara things get a bit more complicated. Whether we're in Oregon or the Czech Republic it's rare that Easter falls anywhere near Ostara. If my kids talk about hunting for eggs outside of the family, they are often told that they are doing it at the "wrong" time or that they are "mixed up." We have our celebration anyway and even try to invite neighborhood children for an egg hunt if we're in the Czech Republic, where people don't normally do egg hunts. 

Then when Easter comes my kids want to repeat the process because they hear that other kids are painting eggs again, by which time I am usually sick of egg painting and hiding. The neighborhood parents usually come around asking if we can show their kids "that American Easter tradition with the egg hunt" even if we already did one at Ostara time.  

I have yet to come up with a satisfactory solution to this dilemma. On the one hand, I'm adverse to doing things "just because" that's the way society does it. On the other hand, I could just stop struggling and have the egg hunt on Easter or I could do two. It won't kill me. Some years I have done our private egg hunt and tree decorating on Ostara and then a neighborhood event on Easter, while mumbling something to my kids about how Christians celebrate Easter later in connection with the cycle of the moon as well as the sun, which is in fact true. But one year this came right before Beltane and it really was a bit confusing to the kids. 

Besides that, I simply feel that it weakens our family traditions to have outsiders question what I do and tell my kids that it is "wrong" or "mixed up." 

The fact is that our Pagan tradition has a very simple, reasonable explanation. It's tied to the clearly observable seasons of the year. It can be celebrated merrily by my atheist husband because you don't have to believe in a deity in order to honor nature and be glad that its spring. The most essential thing to me is that I want my children to have a tradition beyond the electronic, commercialized modern world... any tradition really. 

I grew up in an age when it was assumed that there were "ethnic groups" who had traditions. And then there was everyone else (i.e. white people) who are boring and soulless and have no real traditions, except church which only sort of counts even if you're Christian. And we weren't even that. Some young people struggle more than others with the issue of "identity" and I struggled quite a bit. I was raised with earth-based spiritual beliefs, but my parents never used and still don't use the word "Pagan." Our beliefs were unnamed and usually swept to the side whenever a stronger societal, secular tradition like Easter or Christmas intruded. 

I ended up feeling like what we believed was somehow "fake" or "made up." In fact, when I tried to explain my beliefs to friends in my late teens, those are the words they used. The first time I heard about Neoaganism was from Wiccans at collage and I didn't immediately understand that they were fairly close to what we were. They had a name and a clear tradition and the strength of numbers. I wanted to be part of it but I didn't want to "give up" what my family believed and it took ten more years before I realized that we weren't nearly so alone as I'd thought. 

Then when my first child was a baby I read a book called The Heart of a Family, which I highly recommend to anyone who wants to raise resilient children in the modern world, whether you follow Pagan, Christian or any other spirituality or philosophy.  The book contains a wealth of practical ideas, including one I'll describe in detail when Lughnasadh comes around. But more than the specific ideas for building family traditions in whatever culture or religion you happen to be in, it gave compelling and research-based reasons for what I had always intuitively known - that family traditions and identity are very important to kids, even crucial to a grounded and resilient self in young adulthood.

One of the most powerful passages in the book sites studies and empirical evidence that shows that the practice of strong family rituals (i.e. traditions that are repeated consciously, not necessarily spiritual or magical rituals) is the most important factor in determining which young people can navigate the self-destructive perils of modern society safely. The studies found that the consistent use of family traditions and rituals was more strongly correlated to good outcomes for young adults when it comes to avoiding problems like substance abuse than economic or social class, single or two parent household status or any of the other factors we tend to think of as so important to raising kids. In short, the conscious practice of family traditions is like a protective shield that you can give your children. It gives them a place to start and the language to express themselves. They may choose to forge new traditions or to carry on your traditions, but whichever they choose it will come from a place of strength.

So, this is why I insist on Ostara traditions, even though society makes it awkward. I can't fully celebrate Easter with a clean conscience. I"m not Christian and simply commercializing it into a secular holiday does no one any good. Ostara truly does mark the beginning of spring in our climate. There is reason to celebrate and the themes of fertility and new life serve to connect us to the natural world. That is essentially one of the reasons I think neo-Pagan traditions are so strong, because without conscious effort it is so easy to live in artificially heated buildings in this age and barely notice the changing of the seasons, let alone the phases of the moon. So, for us to celebrate Ostara is  a truly necessary and practical part of connecting with the earth and raising children who have a deep intuitive sense of that connection rather than a merely intellectual understanding of the seasons.

Crafts

Ostara crafts usually center around eggs, rabbits, rainbows, plants and babies, whether animal or human. Eggs are the obvious and ancient symbol of fertility in too many cultures to name. The rabbit appears to come from the Germanic tradition of the goddess Ostre, who's sacred animal is the hare. The hare is also closely connected with the moon in many cultures.

Ukrainian eggs that I love but can't actually make. Image provided by Carl Fleischhauer, Library of Congress

There is a lot more you can do with eggs than you might think. Beyond dying boiled eggs with natural food colorings (tumeric = yellow, beets or red onion peels = red, purple cabbage = a clear beautiful blue), we also paint blown eggs with acrylic paint so that we can hang them on our plum tree outdoors and not have them washed off by the rain. In Central and Eastern Europe there are extensive traditions involving coloring eggs in fantastic patterns. Many of these techniques involved dying the eggs in layers while keeping bits of the previous layers from the new dye with wax. I am not a skilled enough artist to do these with any great skill but they are fun for experiments.

Two other simple crafts involve the failed attempts to blow eggs. If you do blown eggs and you accidentally break a few, don't worry and don't throw the shells away. All you need is half or three quarters of a shell. Make a ring out of paper as a stand. Then place a bit of candle wick in the bottom of your egg and pour heated wax or even melted crayons on it and you have a beautiful Ostara candle. Or if you would rather, fill the egg shell with a little potting soil and grow lettuce or herb starts in them. What could be a better symbol of new life than tiny plants growing out of an egg shell? If you crack the shell afterward you can plant it directly in the garden that way. All of this egg decore is good for alters and tables.

Another fun Ostara craft involves using the egg shape of a balloon.  If possible put a piece of chocolate or something pretty inside the balloon. Then blow it up. Then dip pieces of yarn in a mixture that is half water and half glue with some flour added and drape these around the balloon until it is completely covered with intricate webs of gooey yarn. Leave this to dry. Pop the balloon and you should have a beautiful egg shape with a surprise inside. 

We usually also make rainbow wands by simply attaching pieces of rainbow-colored tissue paper to the ends of sticks and letting the kids wave them around wildly. We often make some sort of paper hare and various other baby animals, sometimes as window art to put up to brighten the still muddy view outdoors. 

Cooking

It’s still all about eggs. Well, given that a lot of eggs get used in the crafts, it only seems reasonable that one should eat them. We’ll make quiche and pudding at the very least. I usually also manage to make a risoto that is packed with the earliest nettles.  

If I am feeling particularly enthusiastic, I get out the one hare-shaped cookie cutter and make simple lemon-zest Ostara cookies. However, the kids mainly associate Ostara with the chocolate found during their egg hunt, so I am unlikely to be able to create any lasting impression with my seasonal cooking.

Ritual and fun

Ostara isn't a big time for rituals in our family. Between celebrating in a kid-friendly way and all the activities of early gardening we are already steeped in the season and the energy of new life. This is one of those times when our spirituality is simply so intertwined with the practical necessities of life that it is inseparable. I do small blessing and fertility rituals to get our garden beds off to a good start but these are rarely done specifically on Ostara. Instead they are part of the season and are done whenever I happen to be able to dig into the dirt after the ground thaws. This year that has already happened but some years it doesn't happen until after Ostara.

The main attraction of the holiday is a decorating the outdoor plum tree and the egg hunt for the children.

My kids love to dye eggs but they also love to find chocolate eggs. I do not love to have them eat the horrible, fake chocolate tainted with metal that comes in the tinfoil wrapped chocolate eggs from the store. So, instead I have acquired a stash of plastic eggs that I keep hidden in a deep dark drawer. I pull these out on the night before Ostara and put good quality chocolate candies in them. Then I have the magic moment of getting up early on Ostara morning to hide the boiled eggs and the chocolate-surprise in the first morning dew, while communing with the first fairies, sprites and nature spirits of the springtime. When the kids get up they can then run outside and gather them up int heir baskets. 

We decorate the plum tree later on by hanging blown eggs by yarn or ribbon from the branches. Each year some of the eggs get knocked down or broken so this is not a place I put any particularly precious painted eggs. 

Beyond that there is almost always some planting of garden beds and starts at Ostara or during the nearest weekend. The kids will have their own little garden bed that they haphazardly plant, weed and water with variable success. 

Imbolc inspirations for families

Good cheer! Good cheer! Imbolc in near!

Imbolc is one of the least flashy Pagan holidays and it can easily be neglected. It is also probably the least oriented towards children of all the celebrations, but this is unfortunate. Imbolc is one of my favorite celebrations and I have found some very fun and appropriate ways to include my preschool-age children, while reserving time for adult introspection and inspiration. 

For six years, I held a small women’s gathering with a group of old friends as an Imbolc celebration. Until one of the fathers developed leukemia, we managed to get the men to take care of the children, so we could have some much-needed women's time. The past few years have seen many illnesses among the group and some particularly long, gray winters. As a result, we now celebrate Imbolc mainly with our own family. 

Crafts

Every year now, I construct a Brigid’s Cross, either out of plum twigs or out of corn stocks that I have saved from the previous year's harvest. Named after the Irish goddess of fire and healing, Brigid, the cross looks like a runic symbol of a square in which each of the four sides extends on the right-hand side. The basic cross is made by weaving together 12 sticks or stalks of grain. Then it is traditionally hung by the door of a dwelling to protect the home from harm in general and fire in particular. I made two, one to hang on the door like a seasonal wreath and one to hang near the hearth throughout the year.

Here's a link to a how-to showing some alternative methods of making a Brigid's cross.

I also make a Brigid doll out of small tree branches, dried flowers from the herb harvest., scraps of white cloth and red yarn. The basic idea is to take two sticks, cross them and bind them together with yarn. Then, I take a wad of cloth, cover it with more cloth to make a roundish lump and bind that to the top part of the cross to form a head. Then I lay a bouquet of dried flowers down along the bottom of the center stick like a dress and cover it with more cloth. I add decorations that look like a shawl and a yarn belt and paint on a face. The doll is an integral part of our child-friendly Imbolc ritual.

With a holiday so dependent on candles caution bears repeating. Imbolc is a particularly bad time to let candles burn unprotected. 

We had a close call with fire a few years ago, even though it didn't have to do with lit candles. My niece who was then nineteen visited shortly after the children and I had done our Imbolc ritual, and she made a fire in the wood stove without noticing that the Brigid doll and other items had been placed on top of the cold stove. The doll was badly scorched but nothing else was harmed before the problem was noticed. My niece felt terrible about ruining the Brigid doll and the kids were sad but after I thought it over, I realized the synchronicity of the moment. Brigid is the goddess who protects households against fire and in this case the Brigid doll had taken the brunt of the danger of fire, been scorched and had not burst into flame despite being made out of dry twigs and dried flowers, thus truly protecting us from fire. Make of it what you will but be sure to discuss fire safety with young children, if you introduce them to candles as a part of ritual.

A key symbol of Imbolc for my kids is an Imbolc crown. I use white paper and cut a strip to go around their heads. Then we attach four shorter white strips sticking up and flame-shaped bits of red paper to the tops of these. The effect looks like a crown made of four candles. I use four for the four elements, but seven is another number that is traditional for Imbolc, if you are feeling ambitious or have older children. The children color their crowns and I help by adding appropriate symbols and runes. My kids enjoy wearing these crowns for our Imbolc ritual.

Kids with Imbolc crowns demonstrating fire protection knowledge

The children and I also make three snake-shaped candle holders out of salt dough and paint them white, red and black to symbolize the triple goddess. The snake candle holders are easy to do. Make two long snakes out of dough. Coil one of them into a spiral to form the base of the candle holder. Using a tea candle as a mold, coil the other one around the edge of the base and build it up two or three layers. Form the end of the second snake into a triangular head and add dots for eyes. Brigid's animal symbol is the snake.

One year we decorated a special wish jar with tissue paper and sparkles. Imbolc is a time of making wishes for the year ahead and hoping for prophesy. Now we use this jar each year to store our wishes for the coming seasons.

Cooking

I make a traditional red-colored Imbolc soup that includes red lentils, lots of red peppers, pumpkin, carrots and red onions. I also make garlic rolls with seeds in them. Given that Imbolc is associated with the very beginnings of life and spring, it is always fitting to cook something with seeds at this time of year.

Both my husband's and my niece's birthdays come right around Imbolc, so their birthday wishes often take over the cooking regime. For several years now, their desire has been cinnamon rolls and this is quickly becoming an Imbolc tradition.

During the Imbolc season I decorate the table with lots of candles and a ceramic plate covered with salt, clear and amethyst quartz crystals and seven tea candles. This makes a beautiful and thematic center piece. 

Ritual and fun

With kids, I consider Imbolc to be the ideal time to start a cycle of education about gardens and plants. For preschool children it is good to start with a practical demonstration of sprouting seeds. You can use alfalfa sprouts and have the added benefit of getting to eat the results. Or you can try one of the contraptions that allows you to see a sprouting bean seed through a clear container. 

Last year, my kids experimented with planting beans in a box that had one side cut off and covered with plastic wrap. They were supposed to be able to see the seeds sprout and put down roots. The only problem was that the seeds we planted right next to the plastic wrap didn’t sprout well, but other bean seeds in the box sprouted and grew like crazy, all over the window. Still beans are particularly effective in getting the kids thinking about how seeds sprout because they sprout so quickly. Obviously this is also the time for planting some of the long-term starts that will be transplanted to the garden in the spring.

Imbolc provides the occasion for the first basic ritual my children have directly participated in. Do to the unique ritual crafts of Imbolc, it actually provides a nice opportunity for including children in ritual. We light candles in our snake candle holders and the kids wear their Imbolc crowns. We let the kids cast a circle by grasping hands in a circle and turning clockwise while saying, "North, south, east west. May our circle now be blessed." The circle is cast right in front of our hearth and the Brigid doll is sleeping on the hearth in a basket. The highlight of the ritual is when the children "wake up Brigid" by gently setting the doll upright and showing it the candles and other offerings. We sing appropriate songs such as “Rise up, oh flame” and “The earth, the air, the fire, the water returns”.Next, the children write or dictate their wishes for the next year. Slips of paper with these wishes are rolled up and put through a slit in the lid of the wish jar. We also make an offering to the spirits of our hearth and ask for protection. Finally, we use sage smoke to purify our new Brigid’s Cross, which we hang above the hearth for year-round protection from fire. Then the children open the circle by joining hands and going counterclockwise while saying, "East, west, south north. From our circle we go forth." This is all simple and active enough for very young children. 

I always make time for adult rituals and reflection after the children are in bed as well. Imbolc is truly a time when the need for introspection and quiet can become urgent. I would love to hear about your Imbolc traditions for adults or children. Please feel free to share in the comments box below. 

Twelve Days of Yule: Crafts, songs and cooking

I am sitting here with a glass of eggnog topped with freshly grated nutmeg. So, you can probably guess that I like this holiday. There are plenty of reasons to like it. First of all, whether we're in Central Europe or in Oregon when the time comes, the people around us are celebrating too. That comes with the handy bonus of some days off work, which are often sorely lacking during other Pagan Sabbats. The days off don’t exactly coincide with the Solstice but they still help out, especially if you celebrate the Twelve Days of Yule in one way or another.

The other reason I like Yule is the feeling of magic and wonder that seems to permeate the natural world during this season. I was always uncomfortable with secular Christmas and the commercialization of the holiday, even as a teenager. But I haven't let that stop me from absorbing the vital energy of the sun's return.

Still, not everyone in our family is quite so enthusiastic. When I told my Czech husband that there are twelve days of Pagan Yule he was aghast, saying he can barely handle one holiday. His mother gets very stressed over Christmas and he still has unresolved anxiety around the holidays. I rushed to reassure him. One thing I like about spreading it out is that there is no one big blow-out celebration and thus no one moment when everything has to be perfect or else it is all ruined. There is something, often a minor thing, special each day and a lot of it is flexible. Also children can get several gifts but only one at a time, which cuts down on the extremes of over-excitement as well as the greedy consumerism. Philosophically, the focus of this Sabbat should be on mystery and magic (spelled any which way), so secrets around gifts are quite called for as are fables about jolly old men arriving in the middle of the night and other things of wonder.

So, here goes.

Crafts and Cooking

Most years, I go out on a crisp, clear day to gather twigs from bare trees to make branch candles. You take a glass or clear jar and hot glue or even just rubber-band a neat row of twigs around the outside of the glass. If you use rubber bands, you might have to cover them with pretty yarn to make it more decorative. Then, you put a candle inside and you have a beautiful candleholder that can be used in the run-up to Yule to symbolize the hidden light of the sun dwelling in the womb of nature.

Next, I fix up my Czech advent wreath turned alter piece for the elements. In the Czech Republic people put a ceramic wreath accented with twigs of evergreen on their table. The wreath has four candle holders on it and four red candles are placed in these. Then, for four weeks before Christmas, they light candles – one on the first Sunday, two on the second and so on. It occurred to me this is a perfect stand for four elements candles. So, I decorate ours in a similar way and light each candle in honor of one of the elements, calling for the aid of elements in bringing the light and warmth of the sun back to us. All this requires for decoration is a few sprigs of fir and juniper from our trees and some dazzling orange suns that I cut out of tangerine peels.

I also make a very simple evergreen wreath for our door and the children make paper snowflakes for the windows. We make ice candles closer to Yule, so that they can be used on Solstice night. You do this by freezing a bowl or plastic container of water in the freezer with a tin can positioned in the middle of it, so that when you take it out and remove the bowl and the can, you have a bowl of ice with a depression in the middle for a candle. Again, this is a symbol of the sun being reborn in cold and ice.

This year we have already made salt dough ornaments and painted them, although this is really the only major craft I have planned with the kids, other than lots of cookies. I will try to make pinwheel cookies. I already have some gingerbread dough in the freezer and I’ll make sugar cookie dough, so we’ll make gingerbread figures and cookies in the shapes of suns, stars and Yule trees. And I will make our annual, much anticipated pan of decadent cinnamon rolls. 

The most important meal of the holiday comes on the eve of the Solstice for us. That is when we traditionally make round dishes. Usually we try to stick to a theme of the sun and the night sky. So, I usually make shepherd's pie with mashed potatoes on top. I liberally mix in tumeric powder with the mashed potatoes, which is tasty, healthy and handy for making the pie look like the sun. I also make blueberry or huckleberry pie for desert and put moon and star cookies on top to make a night sky.  There is always a large round dish of baked pumpkin or winter squash with brown sugar and butter on top. This is simple and uses our most successful home harvest crop.

Songs

Yule is good when it comes to songs but difficult at the same time. One of the hardest things about not really being able to relate to Christmas for me is that for years I have struggled with the fact that I like Christmas carols. I even like some of the overtly religious ones. For one thing, they have wonderful tunes and for another thing, they speak to some primal instinct for celebration in the season. Even the texts of the religious ones evoke the very spirit of wonder and comfort at the magical rebirth of light and hope that is at the heart of Yule. Certainly, some of the tunes of these songs predate Christianity, though we don’t always know for certain which ones.

One that we do know is Pagan for sure is:

Deck the Halls

Deck the halls with bows of holly

Fa la la la la la la la la

‘Tis the season to be jolly

Fa la la la la la la la la

Don ye now your gay apparel

Fa la la la la la la la la

Join the ancient Yuletide carol

Fa la la la la la la la la

See the blazing Yule before us

Fa la la la la la la la la

Strike the harp and join the chorus

Fa la la la la la la la la

Follow me in merry measure

Fa la la la la la la la la

While I tell of Yuletide treasure

Fa la la la la la la la la

Fast away the old year passes

Fa la la la la la la la la

Hail the new, ye lads and lasses

Fa la la la la la la la la

Sing we joyous all together

Fa la la la la la la la la

Heedless of the wind and weather

Fa la la la la la la la la

And here are some others with common tunes intact but with words that have been adapted by modern neo-Pagans. If anyone is upset by Pagans co-opting Christian songs for the holiday, one might point out that the Christians first co-opted the whole holiday from the Pagans of long ago, so it is justice of a sort.

Silent Night

Silent night, solstice night

All is calm, all is bright

Nature slumbers in forest and glen

‘Til in springtime she wakens again

Sleeping spirits grow strong!

Sleeping spirits grow strong!

Silent night, solstice night

Silver moon, shining bright

Snow blankets the sleeping Earth

Yule fires herald the sun’s rebirth

Hark, the light is reborn!

Hark, the light is reborn!

Silent night, solstice night

Quiet rest ‘til the light

Turning ever the rolling wheel

Brings the winter to comfort and heal.

Rest your spirit in peace!

Rest your spirit in peace!

Oh, Come All Ye Kindred

Oh, Come All Ye Kindred

Gather round the Yule Fire

Oh, come ye, oh, come ye,

To call the Sun.

Fires within us

Call the Fire above us.

Oh, come let us rejoice now.

Oh, come let us rejoice now.

Oh, come let us rejoice now

For the reborn Sun.

Yea, Sun, we greet Thee!

Born again at Yuletide!

Oh, Yule fires, Oh, trees bright

Are lighted for Thee!

Come and behold it

Light this day returns to us.

Oh, come let us rekindle.

Oh, come let us rekindle.

Oh, come let us rekindle.

The returning sun.

Finally, here is an original Yule song that came more or less unbidden into my head. The words can be sung to either Good King Wenceslas or Amazing Grace, depending on your mood.

Promised Hope

(To the tune of Good King Wenceslas)

O, promised hope that we hold dear

As days grow dark and cold.

All people wait this time of year

As ancient tales are told.

Father Sun departs the Earth.

The Goddess holds her child.

So, here we gather by the hearth,

While winter storms grow wild.

In darkest night, the world so chill,

We watch twelve days of Yule

To see the sun returning still

To herald the earth’s renewal.

Oh, Solstice Tree

 

Oh, Solstice tree

Oh, Solstice tree

How lovely are your branches.

Ever green through winter days.

Reminding us of old time ways.

Oh, Solstice tree

Oh, Solstice tree

How lovely are your branches.

Now sparkling with dazzling light

You bring us joy and delight.

Any other verses anyone?

The Twelve Days

This year, because we are in Eastern Oregon in the mountains, we will be able to go out and pick a little tree that needs thinning. We'll do that this weekend. We will then be set for the great celebrations to begin. This year I’m going to take a crack at some sort of celebration for each of the twelve days of Yule.

On the first night of Yule – that is for us the evening of the 20th of December – we will have a special dinner to honor both the sun and the “womb of the night” that holds the sun on Solstice night with round dishes, probably a round casserole, as well as baked pumpkin and tangerines for the sun and huckleberry pie with stars cut out of dough on top for goddess of the night. We will light our ice and branch candles and as many others as we want, to keep vigil on the longest night. We won’t leave them lit though, as fire is too much of a hazard here. Instead we will bank the fire to last. We’ll light the first of twelve candles and say something we wish for more of in ourselves during the next year. Each evening we will light one more of the twelve candles and tell the children what they symbolize. With somewhat older children one could say something one appreciates about each daily theme with the lighting of the new candle. Then, we will sing and put the children to bed.

In the morning on the 21st, I will wake up the children before dawn and get us all dressed to go outside. We’ll go out to the boulder where our grandmother's ashes were scattered and drum and sing to welcome the reborn sun. I will have to pay attention to when exactly dawn comes in order to keep the children from standing too long in the cold.

The first day of Yule has an outward focus of the sun and an inward focus on taking care of yourself. I think I may be able to bake my favorite cinnamon rolls on this day. I will also find some quiet time to do an annual Tarot reading that I do on the Winter Solstice. It is made up of a circle of twelve cards, each representing a month of the coming year, and one central card. It is the only truly predictive reading that I use.

The 22nd, the second day of Yule, is dedicated to prosperity and possessions. So, this is a logical time for giving and receiving, which is handy because the first day of Yule is usually hectic enough without adding gifts.  The evening before the children will put cookies by the hearth and say a special sun blessing. They will wake up to a present under the tree from Santa Claus and stockings full of good things. In this sense Santa Claus is the spirit of the old year and the old sun, he is an old man with a long white beard, dressed in the warm red of an old fire. We’ll also have a special family meal and give thanks for all that we had or gained in the old year.

On the 23rd, we will find time to go for a walk and sing carols. The third day of Yule is dedicated to communication and voice, thus singing.

The fourth day is dedicated to the home, so we usually stay home and make a special Czech holiday dinner of carp and potato salad and there will be another gift under the tree in the evening for the children. It is handy that the 24th is a state holiday here. This time the gift is brought by the newborn Baby Sun (a Pagan take on the atheist Czech tradition that has it that a magical spirit called, oddly enough for the Czech anti-thiests, “Little baby Jesus” sneaks into the living room to leave gifts while the family is somewhere else in the house). One of the adults usually distracts the children in another room while the other puts out the gifts, rings a small bell and jumps into the bathroom to pretend that he or she wasn’t actually there when Baby Sun showed up.

On the 25th, we often bake star-shaped gingerbread cookies that are made to stack one on top another to form trees. These we can decorate with white frosting and sparkles like Yule trees. We will make enough to take with us to the cousins the next day. This fifth day of Yule is dedicated to play and creativity.

The sixth day of Yule is dedicated to health. If we were at home in the Czech Republic, we could have a sauna on this day. Instead we'll soak in my mother's hot tub under the pine and apple trees. 

The seventh day is dedicated to love relationships. This is the first time my husband and I have been apart at this time of year in many years. Usually, we are visiting the relatives on Dec. 27th and we seize this rare opportunity to have babysitters and go on a date – the only date we get in a year without kids. It isn't much, just a quiet walk and a little while in a café in the picturesque little town of Trebon, but it is better than nothing.

The eighth day of Yule is dedicated to change and cycles and so it is a particularly good day for a ritual around something that needs change. It is also a time to honor the natural cycles of rebirth in some way. On this day we usually stage a change-of-the-guard pillow fight with the kids. This is where the children, as symbols of the new sun, pummel the parents, symbols of the old sun, with pillows and eventually “win” by exhausting them.

The ninth day of Yule is about learning, so we will surely read some of the Yule stories in the book Circle Round on this day and perhaps have some fun board games as a family. This is also Dec. 29, which is a day on which we honor our children’s birth families, because it is the birthday of one of their birth mothers. We will light a special candle.

The tenth day of Yule is dedicated to career and life path. For older children this would be a good day to play the game of life, dress up as various professions or have a discussion about what they want to do with their life path. We will probably read picture books about different professions and try to act them out. I will also do a ritual for myself around figuring out my own life path.

The eleventh day of Yule is for friendships and community. It is also New Year’s eve, so it is a good time to get together with a circle of friends that is broader than family. It is also a good day to discuss with children and decide something to do to help the community or other people in the world during the coming year, a special kind of New Year’s resolution. We will also visit an elderly neighbor on the day its self.

The final, twelfth day of Yule is dedicated to dreams, the subconscious and mysteries. If one has not overindulged too much on New Year’s night interesting dreams might come. It is a good time for introspective writing. I will try to make a mystery treasure hunt inside the house for the children to find a final treat of the season on New Years day. One Czech tradition we have adopted is that we always eat lentils (a symbol of prosperity) on New Years day (the twelfth day of Yule) in order to ensure abundance in the coming year.

That is the basic idea of our holiday traditions. We get a lot done without making any of it particularly stressful. I hope this year we will be able to integrate it with having a lot of American cousins around as well.

The rhythm of mornings on the Ridge

(I am spending two and a half months living on my parents’ place in the mountains in rural Eastern Oregon with my two preschool-age children. Shaye, who is five, insists on going to kindergarten, even during our short stay. This is a vivid slice of life.)

I rise out of deep sleep with the trill of my cell phone, which has been demoted to a glorified alarm clock out in the Blue Mountains of Eastern Oregon with no signal.

First I inhale deeply before my eyes open. There is the pungent fragrance of the pellets that feed the miniature stove and the undertone of snow. My eyes open to the flickering light of the little orange flame at the foot of the big bed.

I reach over and fumble to turn off the alarm, so it doesn’t wake up Marik. Then I reluctantly role myself out of the froth of white blankets that cover the bed. I wish I had this nice of a bed at home in our little house near Prague in the Czech Republic. So much for roughing it in the mountains.

I stumble the few feet to the creaky ladder and blink hard to clear the sleep from my head as I climb in the warm semi-darkness, lit only by the stove. Above is the tiny loft, mostly crammed with boxes my mother is storing. There is a small space that has been cleared for two pallets on the floor and my children sleep there – four-year-old Marik and five… almost six-year-old Shaye. I squeeze into the opening between a cabinet and the railing to reach Shaye.

I brush her cheek in an attempt to wake her gently but she doesn’t stir. I can’t fit entirely into their tiny space without causing a fair amount of noise, so I resort to reaching down and lifting her by both arms as she sleeps. She wakes up as she is pulled out of her blankets but she doesn’t cry. She’s used to it and she loves kindergarten.

At first, her legs don’t hold her but I put her hands on the railing and guide her quietly through the little space. I have to hold her from behind as we slide down the ladder because she isn’t awake enough to be reliable.  Back down on the floor of the one-room cabin, we dress silently by firelight. Shaye is usually done first, despite the fact that I have laid out our clothes the night before. My head is still full of fluff.

She opens the door as I get my boots on and the icy air of the still-dark morning blasts against my nose. It must be more than ten below again. We step outside onto the frozen path. There isn’t much snow this morning, just a powdery dusting. I close the door quietly. Marik is still fast asleep. Shaye and I make our way toward the big house  

I put my hand on her shoulder and let her bob against my legs as we walk. The moon is waning but still fat and bright, hanging among the pines that tower above us on the western slope. An owl hoots up there in the trees. Then another answers from the woodlot in the hollow far below. Something else cries out in the predawn, an animal I don’t recognize.

We step quickly toward the house. A light has been left on for us but otherwise it is still dark and silent. We bustle inside, shedding boots and coats. I put water on for tea, while Shaye snuggles with the two dogs and one cat that greet us. In thirty five minutes, I get Shaye through hair brushing and a small bowl of cereal, sometimes half a cup of warm fruit tea and a few minutes of reading. Sometimes I can salvage the coals of last night’s fire in the big hearth. But sometimes I have to build it up from scratch.

When my watch says exactly 6:45, we have to start putting boots and coats on in earnest. At 6:50, Shaye stands outside while I lace up my high tops and mash my hat into place. Both dogs barrel out of the door, growling and nipping at each other playfully.

“I hear the bus,” Shaye yells and we start down the steep quarter-mile mud track that serves as our driveway. I can see the lights of the bus far below, making its way up the road beyond our property. In three minutes, we drop down to the county road that runs through the bottom of the hollow. The sky is barely starting to get light but the morning is as clear as the perfect note of a penny whistle.

We’re the furthest out on this school bus route. The driver, a sweet lady named Cindy, has to drive another mile up the road to find a place to turn around. Then, she comes back down the hill and picks Shaye. That way we have the five-minute warning to get us down the hill and we rarely have to wait long.

When we hear the bus approach again and see the warmth of its flashing lights in the distance, Shaye burrows against me, suddenly demanding of comfort and multiple hugs. I hug her and put the required kisses on her face as the bus slows and the doors open.

“‘Morning!” Cindy calls.

“‘Morning,”  I reply, as Shaye bounds up the steps and disappears into the darkened bus alone.

I stand and wave, even though I can’t see her behind the glass or at that distance. The one time I forgot to pretend to exchange waves with her, she gave me a hard time about it for days. So, I wave and smile and pretend that I can see her as the bus pulls away. One of the absurdities of being a legally blind mother.

In a moment the morning is as still and peaceful as that clear note of music. The sky has lightened a little along the horizon, though it will be a half an hour yet before the sun peeks up.  The only sound is the yipping of the dogs as they chace each other out in the neighbor’s pasture. I turn back up the road, pausing a few times just to admire the morning. The brightening skyline and the pink-hued clouds are blurry to me but still beautiful, something like an impressionist painting.

I take the grassier path back up the ridge. That one ends at the little cabin where Marik is still asleep. I slip in as silently as I can and sit in the rocking chair reading for a few minutes as the sun comes up and slowly illuminates my mother’s paintings which hang close together on the walls. This is normally her art studio, when we aren’t here. I can’t actually see the paintings unless I stand on the bed and put my face a few inches from them, but the amorphous blobs of them on the wall are comforting.

At about 7:30, Marik snuffles awake and calls out to see if I have returned from the bus yet. Then he pads over to the ladder and climbs down. He sits in my lap for awhile and I read one of the new stories I’ve ordered online. I tuck our latest addition into one of the big duffle bags I’m packing for the long trip back to the Czech Republic, a land of limited English-language children’s books, and we head back into the house.

Most mornings we are alone. My mom and my brother stay overnight in town more often than not. So, Marik and I make a more substantial breakfast, carry a load of wood down a long flight of narrow stairs to stoke the fire, wash the dishes and try to call Papa on Skype. Then it is time to find something useful to do with the four-year-old-oriented part of the day. Sometimes we just go for a walk to visit a neighbor or one of the huge trees on top of the ridge. Other days we cook or make cookies for the holidays. About once every two weeks, we can finagle a ride into town to visit the library.

Such is the rhythm of our mornings on Pumpkin Ridge. There is peace to it along with hard work.

Samhain at our house with songs and Grandfather Deer cookies

Samhain wasn't always my favorite holiday. It isn't easy to embrace death as part of the natural cycle. I don’t subscribe to any particular literal interpretation about what happens after we die but I do know that the spirits, energies or something of our ancestors is left and does play a role in our lives. I don’t feel like this is a scary thing. I get more comfort from it than anything else and this is what I would like to teach my children – the connection to and recognition of ancestors that gives comfort and strength. So, this is what Samhain is to us. 

I have two children ages 3 and 5 as well as a husband who wavers between being Pagan and atheist, depending on his mood. I enjoy the magic of childhood, so I embrace myths like Santa Claus. In fact, my children were so entranced by the story of Grandfather Deer visiting on Samhain in the book Circle Round that Grandfather Deer has taken to visiting us and delivering small gifts to children on the night of Samhain. Especially as they get older these will tend to be gifts with some spiritual connection or connection to ancestors.

Here are some ideas for what a family with small children can do to celebrate this Pagan holiday. This is what we do. We aren't Wiccan or anything specific. We are eclectic Pagans and I adapt a lot of things from the book Circle Round. 

Crafts and Cooking

We made a jack-o-lantern that we will leave outside and lit on Samhain to guide the spirits on the night when the veil between worlds is thin.

We went on a walk and collected pine cones and colorful leaves, and I made a fall wreath with the materials and a circle of willow switches left over from making dream catchers. A glue gun is truly a wonderful tool!

We made gingerbread cookies in the shapes of jack-o-lanterns, boys and girls, deer and elk and crescent moons. Then, we painted them with a bread-of-the-dead-type icing made with orange juice and powdered sugar. The deer and elk cookies were inspired by a children’s bedtime story in the book Circle Round, which tells how “Grandfather Deer” (a representation of the old horned god of ancient European Pagans) comes to lead one on a dream journey on Samhain to the Land of Youth, where children can play in the everlasting sun with gentle and supportive ancestor spirits for that one night.)

We painted color-diffusing leaf shapes in fall colors to hang on the wall.

Songs

First we sang Ring Around the Pumpkin for a few days as part of our regular morning singing and circle games.

Ring around the pumpkin
Pocket full of nuts
Leaves! Leaves!
They all fall down!

I thought it sounded silly when I read about it but the kids loved it and loved inserting “Hop around the pumpkin” or “Stomp” or “Tiptoe” or “Dance”. We did it first on the day we got our carving pumpkin and we put it in the middle still uncut. This may have helped to get the kids excited and after that they insisted that I make a pumpkin picture to put in the middle of the circle, because our jack-o-lantern had to stay outside for safety’s sake.

Then, Shaye kept asking me again and again why there is snow and why the leaves are falling off the trees and why we have Samhain. I explained all of these things in one way or another, more or less scientifically, until I finally made up this little ditty to the tune of “Are You Sleeping” in order to give a quick answer. And she loved it and has stopped bugging me, which I did not really expect.

Samhain is coming. (2x)
The Earth must rest. (2x)
The ancestors are calling. (2x)
We give thanks. (2x)

Children laughing (2x)
Red leaves falling (2x)
It’s time for trick-or-treating (2x)
On Samhain night. (2x)

Salt and apples (2x)
I leave tonight (2x)
For the grandfather deer (2x)
Who keeps me safe. (2x)

As popular as these songs were with the preschool set, neither really did it for me. Especially when the topic is spirits and ancestors, I hunger for something a bit more… well, spiritual. So, walking back through the woods with Marik, after dropping Shaye off at preschool I made up this song to the tune of “Michael Rows the Boat Ashore”. It works well if you draw out the first syllable of the element mentioned in the even lines.

Listen to the ancestors’ call,
Hush in the wind.
Listen to the ancestors call,
Song in the water.

Listen to the ancestors call,
Dark of the earth.
Listen to the ancestors’ call,
Dance of the flame.

Fun and Ritual

This year Samhain will be a bit hectic for us because we are crossing the Atlantic to be with my family in Oregon and will likely have extreme jetlag. But we will still hope to dress up and go out for a little trick-or-treating. I am not thrilled with it, given my older child's extreme sensitivities to food coloring and other things in mainstream candy but it is nice to have a purpose for dressing up, which is simply too fun for children to forgo.

I’m not overly fond of the gruesome or horrific aspects of Halloween. I think these were made up to make Pagan beliefs seem evil and frightening. Instead, I focus on dressing up that is simply fun or perhaps dressing up in the garb of people in history, our ancestors.

The flying several thousand miles and dressing up does tend to put a crimp in my plans for more spiritual rituals involving children, because the kids will be completely exhausted. So, we'll keep it very simple, I’ll help the kids make a “mute supper” of apples, salt and a few of our cookies to put out by the jack-o-lantern, which we’ll light.  In the morning the children will find their Samhain gifts where they left the food. I have decided to spread out gift giving, so that the children will get only one gift at Yule but they will get one at other times of the year as well, though they may not be large or expensive. This is primarily in hopes of reducing stress for everyone concerned but I also like to spread around the sense of magic.

The idea of giving gifts to children on Samhain comes from the assumption that children are closer to the spirits, because they were born only recently. Thus, giving gifts or sweets to small children is a way of giving gifts to the ancestors as well. 

Either in the evening or in the morning, depending on when the children are able to participate, we have a short, fun activity to mark the renewal of the year. We open up the back door to say goodbye to the old year and then run to the front door to welcome the new year with noise makers and a song. We might also sing a more generic song such as:

Round and round the earth is turning.
Always turning round to morning
And from morning round to night.

I hope to hold a more involved Samhain ritual for adults when the children are asleep, including purifying thehouse and specifically our i-Ching and Tarot materials, runes and elements symbols. At home in the Czech Republic, the wall behind our family alter is covered with picture-symbols for the various groups and cultures of ancestors represented in our household. So, there are Celtic, Slavic, Norse, Romani and Hindu symbols as well as symbols specifically remembering the women who struggled through conflict and pain to give us life and remembering those who held Pagan beliefs but had to hide them for a variety of reasons. These are all on little circles that are on a black velvety background around a triple moon symbol.

The ritual usually includes carrying the light from our family alter to an earth alter in the stone circle behind our house. We burn slips of paper with qualities and problems that we would like to leave behind, and we will leave an offering of food, water, fire and sage. We end with asking our ancestors for protection of our home. In the morning we light our special alter candles again and call in particular blessings or qualities we wish for the next year or make Samhain resolutions.  We renew energy protections on our house by smudging and sprinkling salt at entrances and windows.